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Sharing – Strange Healing is Still Healing

ByMikeM November 8, 2025November 13, 2025 Reading Time: 1 minute

I 100% agree with this:

You Can’t Be Who You Were Before The Abuse

https://irreverenthealing.substack.com/p/strange-healing-is-still-healing

If you read the link above, you’ll see that going back doesn’t make sense. I often say that I was nine when my sexual abuse started, younger than that when I was being physically abused. I can’t go back to being a nine-year-old. That doesn’t make any sense. Even if you were abused at an older age, trying to go back doesn’t make much sense either. How do you take the things you’ve done to survive and all of the new knowledge you have and go backwards from there? Why not embrace the fact that you are moving forward into something new?

My biggest epiphany in therapy was the freedom to make my own life moving forward, because I had never felt I was allowed to. Going back to the person I was before I was abused would not have been that.

After all, everyone is changing all the time. Trauma or not, people move forward in their lives and change. Going back isn’t a solution.

Links

Sharing – How I Misunderstood the Meaning of Rest
ByMikeM January 26, 2024January 25, 2024 Reading Time: 2 minutes

I say this applies to all forms of self-care because we have a culture that tells us all the time that being productive and getting things done is the entire basis of our value as human beings. Naturally, we look at activities like resting, eating, and other forms of self-care as a necessary part of being productive, but we never see their value on their own. We’re resting because we worked hard during the week or because our bodies are exhausted and need a refresh before returning to it. We eat because we need the calories to burn. We meditate so that we can focus better on our work. We spend time with others to build relationships and extend our network. We read to seem interesting to others.

We never do things just because we want to.

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Sharing – Patrice Evra: Ex-Manchester United star wants to end violence against children and details his own experience of sexual abuse
ByMikeM June 27, 2022June 27, 2022 Reading Time: 2 minutes

How many times have we heard “why did you wait so long to speak out?” Have we considered what we’ve done to make survivors feel safe to do so? Have we considered what our friend or family group would need to look like in order for a survivor to feel safe opening up about their experiences?

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Link – Sex After Trauma (Pt. II): The Psychology Behind My Promiscuity
ByMikeM January 22, 2016January 19, 2016 Reading Time: 1 minute

“Hypersexuality is a common side effect of sexual trauma (as is avoiding sex altogether). I didn’t know this at the time I wrote that piece. During that period of my life, I wasn’t just, “taking a guy home from the party because I wanted to.” I was actively going on Tinder and looking for guys…

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Link – The Wrong Way to Keep Kids Safe From Predators
ByMikeM April 30, 2017 Reading Time: 1 minute

Sadly, this is true: Now that I have a kid, I’ve noticed that most parents think like this. They believe children are safe only when they are in the care of adults, in part because kids have to be protected from would-be pedophiles and abductors. But as a psychologist with an expertise in child abuse,…

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Sharing – A Look at Mental Health Treatment Stigma
ByMikeM May 5, 2020May 5, 2020 Reading Time: 2 minutes

As a blogger, and social media user, yes I want to try and be as careful as I can to post supportive messages, and not make anyone feel stigmatized through my words. That’s important, but I also have to remember that everyone is different. When you’re talking with someone through whatever medium, it’s important to not assume ill-intent. If the term “getting help” feels stigmatizing to you, simply ask people not to use it, suggest some other terms, etc. Have a conversation about how you want to talk about your mental health. Keep the lines of communication open, on both sides.

That’s how you end stigma. By communicating, instead of shutting anyone down.

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Weekly Links

Shared Links (weekly) Jan, 31 2021
ByMikeM January 31, 2021April 18, 2021 Reading Time: 1 minute

Unseen scars of childhood trauma

Two thirds of child sexual abuse survivors didn’t tell anyone about abuse at the time

Why we should never use childhood trauma to excuse male violence

– Can we also talk about how offensive these connections are to male survivors?

Is Stigma Derailing Your Mental Health Goals?

9 Books to Make 2021 a Happier, Healthier Year

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Sharing – Strange Healing is Still Healing

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Sharing – How I Misunderstood the Meaning of Rest

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Sharing – Patrice Evra: Ex-Manchester United star wants to end violence against children and details his own experience of sexual abuse

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Link – Sex After Trauma (Pt. II): The Psychology Behind My Promiscuity

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Link – The Wrong Way to Keep Kids Safe From Predators

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Shared Links (weekly) Jan, 31 2021

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