But then I got to thinking. I’ve talked about being a sexual abuse survivor and how it was a male who abused me. What I haven’t talked about and haven’t considered for myself because the incidents are overshadowed by the years of sexual abuse are the occasions when I was sexually victimized without my consent by women.
There may not be a simple solution, like the suggested sauna or hot tub, but what I think this study shows is that there is very clearly something going on physically with depression. This is not an “it’s all in your head” situation, and I hope that perhaps information like this, which shows a measured physical symptom tied to depression, gets us to consider depression as something similar to other physical ailments.
Kathleen’s point is an important one. We aren’t going to see change when so many people see trafficking, abuse, etc., as something that happens to “those other people.” We need to continue telling our stories so that we remind people that trafficking isn’t something that happens only with immigrants or poor people. It’s the same thing with abuse, sexual assault, mental health. It happens everywhere, and if you don’t know anyone who was trafficked or survived sexual abuse or assault, it’s probably because you don’t seem like a safe person to talk to about it.
What I find interesting about this, beyond the obvious take that many people out there are not doing well, is that if you asked this same question to many of your friends, coworkers, and acquaintances, you probably wouldn’t see the same thing. There’s something about trauma-dumping to a fictional character that allows us to be honest without fear that we are too much for people to deal with. I worry about it all the time. If you asked me how I am on any given day, 99% of the time, I’d say something like “Not bad.” I might admit to struggling the other one percent of the time, but also probably downplay it.
Let me tell you a secret. I struggle much more than one percent of the time. I also don’t want people to worry about me, and I don’t want my struggles to be too much for the people in my life. I make my emotions small to protect other people. I know I’m not the only one.
They need to be better about that if we are going to make any kind of dent in the mental healthcare accessibility problem. Online therapy can be a difference maker if it can help people quicker and cheaper and with the same effectiveness. Those are the keys right now to improving the care system for all of us.
Fixing someone else’s grief, just like healing their trauma, isn’t possible. It’s not your job. Your job is to keep the space open for them to heal.
