We know that people who are aware of the signs early, remain connected to others, and have some level of self-determination are less likely to be lost to suicide. Making and sharing a safety plan accomplishes many of those same things and provides you with a plan of action to take in the event of danger. It is a no-lose situation.
How often, as children, did we decide to “fly under the radar” and not draw attention to something that brought us happiness because that just created a target? How many of us, as adults, still live with the fear that identifying something that makes us happy only invites someone to hurt us by taking it away? Even when there is no one there to take it, we live with that fear and don’t get too attached to anything.
My hope for all of us is to find a safe place to overcome that and enjoy the things that make us happy.
Understanding this is one of the hardest things about being in a relationship, of any kind, with an abuse survivor. As a sexual abuse survivor, it has been paramount in my romantic relationships to talk openly about my experience and what things can be very difficult for me. These discussions are important because there can be things that seem very simple and routine to you that your partner does not see the same way. (For example, I don’t like to be touched until I can see the person touching me and know they are someone safe. Approaching me from behind and touching me before I’ve had a chance to “see” who I am with can be very startling to me.)
I like to think that survivors are worth the effort, and my wife has confirmed that at least our relationship is worth it. It requires honesty and openness that may be new to survivors, but it’s the only way forward.
So, someone like me, a middle-aged, professional, white male, can talk about struggling and get encouragement, pointed to good resources that are affordable for me, and there’s hope that I’ll get better. Someone living near poverty will say the same thing, and we start looking at whether they should have their kids removed from the home or how we can keep them away from a “safe” society.
It gets worse if they are not white and/or have a more serious mental health issue.
That’s not right. Everyone deserves quality mental health care. We shouldn’t divide who gets the care and who doesn’t based on what kind of mental health issue they have or who they are. That’s no way to solve this issue.
I stumbled upon this post from Psych Central today that I hadn’t seen before. As I read it, I considered sharing it and pulling out a quote to focus on, like I sometimes do, but I decided not to. I decided that because there are multiple things you should go read. The article talks about the signs of childhood trauma, the causes of trauma, and some suggestions for treatment.
Then the author, Melissa Gooden, suggests books for parents, caregivers, and kids, links to places where they can learn more or get help, etc.
Let me acknowledge this first, as soon as I saw the headline of this article, I immediately thought, “who gets to choose what time of day they go to their therapy appointments? You take whatever you can get!”
Is There A Best Time Of Day For Therapy? Here’s What Therapists Say
That’s not wrong. On the other hand, I think there are some good points to consider when you choose, if you have a choice, about the time of day.
