If we’re going to become a less lonely society, we need to take advantage of opportunities to gather together. It’s that simple. It’s also becoming more challenging to do as we hide behind social media and news media, more interested in keeping us afraid of “others” so that we will continue to give them our attention.Â
We talk about loneliness as a mental health issue often. We complain about the lack of third spaces in society. We complain about how people don’t reach out anymore. What we likely don’t talk enough about is how volunteering to help other people is an antidote to all of that.
It doesn’t sound like much. At the same time, we see so little of this in our daily interactions that it doesn’t take much to stand out as a good partner, friend, or boss. The bar is not set very high, but it does require sitting still with someone and focusing on them for that time.Â
How often can most of us say we do that?Â
Is it any wonder we have such a problem with loneliness? Â
I don’t claim to have all of the answers to the challenge of suicide prevention, but the basics are relatively straightforward. This research into teenagers shows us precisely what keeps people alive:
Despite high suicide risk, most teens can identify reasons to live, from family bonds to small future dreams – offering hope for prevention.
I, for one, was sexually abused by an older boy. Not a stranger. Someone in my family. Many other men I know were abused by a family member, a member of the clergy, a coach, or some other trusted person known to their parents. I also went into my 20s planning to never tell anyone. I know many men go through most of their lives never planning to tell anyone. I was lucky to find other men who did talk about it, and helped me realize first that what happened to me was abuse and that someone would believe me if I spoke up.Â
I would argue that most men have never had that. Thus, they don’t show up in any statistics about sexual abuse. The sexual abuse of minors is chronically underreported and is likely to get worse as society continues to push victims to “move on” instead of speaking out. We need more spaces to discuss CSA, not fewer.Â
Post-traumatic growth can happen. Healing from any trauma can happen. It occurs more frequently when the survivor has the financial means and social support to seek help.Â
This is not something we do on our own. It requires resources. It requires people in our lives to be there with us through it. Ignoring survivors’ current needs and assuming that they will eventually see growth is harmful. It might just be the missing thing, preventing growth.Â
