We have to face the fact that, as much as we might not openly admit it, we live in a society where kids with mental illness have very little hope, and we don’t care enough to change that. They, their parents, and their siblings are “others” that we’d rather not be bothered with. Societally, we’d rather they went away than be concerned with figuring out ways to help them.
That’s not good enough.
Of course, he’s right. What he sees in the UK is the same thing I see from my “much less qualified but simply paying attention” seat in the US, and I’m sure many of you see where you live as well. Our current mental health resources are designed to help “fix” something wrong with us. I can’t say they even do that well, but at least that is the plan, and that plan makes sense for many mental health struggles.
It is only part of the picture, though. In all seriousness, how would the 6-8 therapist sessions a good insurance plan covers help someone escaping domestic abuse or trying to feed a family on a minimum wage job? How is the teenager being abused at home, bullied at school, and overwhelmed by the bleakness of what the world might look like when they are an adult supposed to find hope in one crisis text line conversation?
How will we provide hope and connection to people without first understanding their world and how they navigate it every day?
I found it interesting because I think the show does a good job of talking to people involved with treating kids and showing what the problem is. Starting with the conversation with a pediatrician, we learn that medical schools don’t effectively train doctors to deal with mental health issues. The risks to children they’ve been taught to deal with are external. These include viruses, broken bones from accidents, stitching cuts, etc. Today, however, the risks to kids have become much more internal. They are harming themselves due to mental health issues at rates we’ve never seen before. Doctors have not been trained to deal with those kinds of risks, and it is made clear that if you’re studying to be a pediatrician, you focus on the external risks because if a kid comes in with an internal risk, you’ll refer them to someone who specializes in mental health.
Of course, there’s a problem with that.
The hard work is developing the proper resources for people who need help after the immediate crisis. That costs money. Money that a significant number of people in the US will balk at paying because it goes to “other people.” These are the same people who balk at paying taxes for schools when they don’t have kids or at higher insurance premiums, let alone the taxes necessary for things like Medicaid, that pay for people who “made poor health decisions.” So, rather than stand up to that kind of thinking, many politicians at the state and local levels will go along with that. They won’t even attempt to provide funds for mental health services.
Some will even go so far as to say those services are just propping up “weak” people who need to get over those issues.
At the end of the day, while we can point to the number of people who talk about mental health and are supported for talking about it, we cannot say we’ve eliminated the stigma associated with it until we all put our money where our mouth is and provide the help that people need.
Until then, I’m afraid that many people will learn lessons the hard way, that it’s easy to write off funding resources for “other people” until you or someone you love winds up being one of them.
As she puts it, there’s a shortage of therapists in general, a shortage of therapists that take insurance, and a shortage of therapists with specialized training. None of that will change without significant changes to the mental health system, and even if it did, we still wouldn’t have enough therapists, especially in rural areas.
So people who are grieving do it privately. They barely function through the workday and then go home and grieve by themselves. They are left to process grief without any community and the support that provides. They are left to feel like there is something wrong with them because they still miss their loved ones as if that is somehow not normal.
It is normal, we don’t simply forget the people we lose or the tragedies we experience and then move on. It sticks with you. You feel it again on birthdays and holidays, in places where you are reminded of them when you want to pick up the phone and tell them some exciting news. That doesn’t just go away after a set amount of time.
We should stop pretending that it should and start making sure everyone has some space to grieve, no matter how long it’s been.
