Shared Links (weekly) August 3, 2025
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Sharing – The Second Betrayal: The Hidden Factor That Makes Childhood Trauma So Devastating
It’s no wonder that I felt alone. I was alone. I was also lucky in finding someone else who was willing to tell their secret in my 20s. Most survivors remain alone with their trauma for decades. Even when they go about their lives, marry, have families, etc., they live alone in their trauma. Others tried to tell someone and weren’t believed, which is a level of being alone that I cannot imagine.
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Sharing – The Identity Crisis Is Coming from Inside the Group Chat
It was worth it, though. Stephanie is correct; if you don’t define yourself, other people will. It happened as a child to many of us when an abuser defined us as someone whom they could abuse; we took that lesson to heart and allowed others to keep defining us repeatedly. Some of those people may have wanted to help, some likely didn’t. It doesn’t matter. The only person who has the right to define you is you.
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Sharing – Psychological Abuse Explained
This logic that emotional and psychological abuse isn’t “as bad” gives short shrift to the people who’ve been psychologically abused. We also don’t recognize the emotional and psychological abuse that went on alongside the other forms of abuse in our situations. That can limit us when it comes to healing. We can’t heal what we don’t know. If we ignore the impacts of these other forms of abuse, we run the risk of dealing with the effects for the rest of our lives instead of taking them on in our healing work.
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Sharing – When Grief Has No Grave: Rebuilding After a Childhood You Never Got
We struggle enough to talk about grief when someone dies. We don’t even come close to acknowledging the other things we can and should be grieving. As an abuse survivor, I still grieve for the childhood I never had, the close relationships with parents I never had, and the freedom to enjoy life that I didn’t have as a child.
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Sharing – Language That Deepens Trauma Instead of Healing It
The amount of courage and effort it took to tell you deserves more than a dismissive comment.
