Survivors

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Sharing – ‘If you’re the bloke it’s your fault’: Why Jeffrey believed he couldn’t be a victim of abuse
ByMikeM February 22, 2025February 21, 2025 Reading Time: 1 minute

Boys get molested. I was one of them. Lots of other men you know were likely molested, too. Some of them may not even know because we weren’t taught that boys could be victims of sexual abuse. After all, if our bodies reacted, we must have wanted it somehow.

This reasoning is so outdated and harmful. Men who were sexually abused as children deserve to have their stories told. All survivors deserve access to support and resources. It’s the very least we can do.

Read More Sharing – ‘If you’re the bloke it’s your fault’: Why Jeffrey believed he couldn’t be a victim of abuse
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Sharing – When a Sibling Causes Harm
ByMikeM November 16, 2024November 15, 2024 Reading Time: 2 minutes

That’s why we need to talk about it. Keeping that kind of abuse hidden makes it more difficult for families to figure out the best way to navigate an abusive situation between siblings, and I know there are many survivors out there who have struggled with exactly this situation.

Read More Sharing – When a Sibling Causes Harm
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Shared Links (weekly) Nov. 10, 2024
ByMikeM November 10, 2024November 7, 2024 Reading Time: 1 minute

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Read More Shared Links (weekly) Nov. 10, 2024
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Sharing – It Took Me Decades to Feel Angry
ByMikeM November 5, 2024November 14, 2024 Reading Time: 1 minute

Whatever that looked like for you, we know that survivors often have difficulty feeling emotions, let alone expressing them. None of this is good for our long-term healing and I hope you’ll read Andrea’s story and how she approaches anger now. I think we need a reminder that we can heal to the point where we feel our emotions, and live with them in a healthy manner.

Read More Sharing – It Took Me Decades to Feel Angry
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Sharing – The Lesser-Known Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse
ByMikeM October 17, 2024October 17, 2024 Reading Time: 2 minutes

The last thing I want you to consider as you read the article below is that some of these effects are contradictory. For example, sexual abuse can cause hyper-arousal and sex addiction, while also causing survivors to not want to be touched. Two different survivors, despite suffering from similar abuse, may have opposite reactions to that abuse, while others may have some combination of both of the contradictory effects. (For example, that same person who is hyper-aroused may also cringe at certain kinds of sexual touch.)

The point is that this list of possible effects is helpful. It will help you understand some of what is going on with your partner. It’s not a replacement for open conversation about the effects that individual is dealing with.

Read More Sharing – The Lesser-Known Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse
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Sharing – The Importance of Role-Models for Survivors of Abuse
ByMikeM July 20, 2024July 19, 2024 Reading Time: 2 minutes

I’d much rather have some difficult conversations and for all of us to be uncomfortable with the topic than for that kid to feel that alone.

Read More Sharing – The Importance of Role-Models for Survivors of Abuse