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Sharing – How my Facebook post about suicide uncovered so much hidden male pain and suffering

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Reading Time: 2 minutes

I have managed to be somewhat successful by society’s standard. I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. To assume that must mean I wasn’t that hurt by it, is to tell me that you know nothing of my life, or the lives of thousands of other men like me. Is it any wonder so many don’t come forward and talk about it?

But, as the article below points out, there are too many men in pain, with nowhere to go, for us to not talk about it. They deserve better.… Read More

Sharing – How to Heal Childhood Trauma Without Forgiving the Person Who Caused It

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Reading Time: 2 minutes

If you choose to forgive, know that it is your choice, including what forgiveness means to you. I’ve talked to many survivors who have made that choice, and how they define forgiveness isn’t always the same Know, however, that it absolutely does not mean you have to now be silent and never bring it up again, and know that people who desire your silence, are not your allies.

I will agree with Roseanna about that, it’s not about forgiveness, it’s about healing.… Read More

Shared Links (weekly) April 4, 2021

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Ask a Black Therapist: 5 tips to support Black mental health during the Derek Chauvin trial

Teens and depression: How parents can help

9 books about mental health and wellbeing to read in 2021

A ground breaking campaign that changed the mental health landscape

How to Save a Life  – Suicidality is on the rise in 2021. Talking about it can change everything.

Book of the Month March 2021 – A Tiny Spark of Hope: Healing Childhood Trauma

I Use Everything in My Resilience Toolkit to Keep My Mental and Physical Health Intact.… Read More

Sharing – How Trauma Changes The Brain, According To Experts

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Reading Time: 2 minutes

I think this says a lot about the things we hear about survivors often. Their testimonies are riddled with muddled memories, they have a hard time not being hyper-alert all of the time, and they can often have difficulty with mood swings, and emotional outbursts.

I think it’s also important to recognize that for the last year, many of us have also been living with various amounts of trauma. COVID-19, racial and gender violence, political violence, etc, just to name a few things that we’ve all been exposed to in overwhelming fashion, and that trauma is having an impact on our brains, as we speak.… Read More

Sharing – How to Respond When Mental Health Advice Feels Like Judgment

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Reading Time: 2 minutes

Look, I get it, you tried something and it helped you, or you’ve seen it help someone else. Clearly, you are excited about the possibility of helping others, but you’re forgetting something. You’re forgetting that the person you are sharing this advice with, isn’t you.

When you come walking into a conversation with friends, or especially into online communities with statements like the ones above, the message you are actually sending is “Gee, fixing this is easy, you’re just doing it wrong”.

Imagine using those actual words towards someone you barely know. You wouldn’t, would you? At least if you’re a decent human being, you wouldn’t. But you are totally willing to take your beliefs, your own experience, and completely railroad another person’s current reality with it, you are doing something awfully similar. In a moment of emotional vulnerability, you have come in, guns blazing, with the suggestion that all of this pain they are in, and all of this struggling they are going through, should have been easy to avoid.… Read More

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