Sharing – Why Healing from Trauma Can Get Harder As We Age

Sharing – Why Healing from Trauma Can Get Harder As We Age

As I’ve said before, we were too busy simply surviving the abuse to learn the things we were supposed to learn as children, so we often start out behind in various ways.

Of course, in order to learn those things we need to do the work as an adult, to first unlearn the things we learned, and then learn the things we didn’t learn to start with. This is, perhaps, one of the real tragedies of so many survivors not even telling anyone, let alone starting this work, for decades.

That’s so many more years of doing the things we need to unlearn, and undoing that is just going to be more difficult the longer this has been true for us. So, what can we do?

Shared Links (weekly) October 17, 2021

Shared Links (weekly) October 17, 2021

More Proof That Early Interventions Are Key

More Proof That Early Interventions Are Key

So, when I see a study like this, I don’t feel defeated, I don’t feel like we are all just broken and doomed to poorer outcomes. I see the possibility that there is room to change this current reality, but it’s going to take changing how we deal with childhood adversity and doing it in an open, honest, and immediate way.

High levels of childhood adversity don’t have to be an early death sentence. We can, and should, intervene early in order to prevent many of these outcomes. We just need the determination and will to make it happen.

Do we have that?

French Catholic Church News Reminds Us Again – Boys Get Sexually Abused

French Catholic Church News Reminds Us Again – Boys Get Sexually Abused

Actually, I think it usually takes something like this, or the scandal in the Boy Scouts, etc, to remind people that oh yeah, sometimes it’s boys who are targeted en masse for sexual abuse. I suspect we don’t often think about it because, as it turns out, many men don’t feel like they can talk about having been abused.

That’s why it was a bit heartbreaking to read Phil Goldstein’s recent opinion piece:

French Catholic Church abuse report highlights the special toll faced by boys

As Phil points out, for a variety of reasons, male survivors tend not to talk about being an abuse victim, and the numbers back that up.

Shared Links (weekly) October 10, 2021

Shared Links (weekly) October 10, 2021

Shared Links (weekly) Oct. 3, 2021

Shared Links (weekly) Oct. 3, 2021

Video – How Trauma Affects Memory

Video – How Trauma Affects Memory

I saw this video shared on Lauren’s Kids Facebook page and wanted to share it here because I think what the folks who work at this Children’s Advocacy Center have to say about childhood trauma, and what children remember is incredibly valuable.

We often expect child abuse survivors, especially when the abuse was so recent, to remember the details, and be able to provide an exact timeline of events. When they struggle to do that it becomes a little too easy for us to start doubting that they are telling the truth, instead of understanding that this is exactly the way it’s supposed to work.

Sharing – Trauma-Related Dissociation: Symptoms, Treatment, Coping, and More

Sharing – Trauma-Related Dissociation: Symptoms, Treatment, Coping, and More

Of course, using this same defense mechanism in later life can be a problem, and when your brain has used this as a sort of “last resort” choice to survive, that might also mean that your memory of the event isn’t what others would like it to be. That’s OK, it helped you survive, that is the important thing. The rest is irrelevant if you don’t survive, so we are glad about that. Once you’ve survived, we can work on the rest of it.

Read more about the what, why, and how of dissociation at the link below.

Sharing – I Feel Nothing: Emotional Numbness and How to Cope

Sharing – I Feel Nothing: Emotional Numbness and How to Cope

In my experience all of that is true. The trauma of my childhood left me numb in early adulthood. The current pandemic and all of the other things going on around us every day have left me numb from time to time now. It’s the overwhelming stress that just living every day can bring right now. So, I find myself doing some of the things recommended in the article below to help in the short term, while also knowing that if that doesn’t work, I need to consider the long-term options as well.