As we roll into November, and many men are taking part in a Movember activity, we like to take a moment to note that the whole movement is focused on men’s health, including mental health.
The folks at Second Step in the UK have book recommendations on the topic.
Of course, he’s right. What he sees in the UK is the same thing I see from my “much less qualified but simply paying attention” seat in the US, and I’m sure many of you see where you live as well. Our current mental health resources are designed to help “fix” something wrong with us. I can’t say they even do that well, but at least that is the plan, and that plan makes sense for many mental health struggles.
It is only part of the picture, though. In all seriousness, how would the 6-8 therapist sessions a good insurance plan covers help someone escaping domestic abuse or trying to feed a family on a minimum wage job? How is the teenager being abused at home, bullied at school, and overwhelmed by the bleakness of what the world might look like when they are an adult supposed to find hope in one crisis text line conversation?
How will we provide hope and connection to people without first understanding their world and how they navigate it every day?
What we see here is what we see for a lot of mental health solutions, it works for some, and doesn’t work for others. Mental health is complicated. As the article points out, if the school environment is hurting student mental health or they are living in an environment at home that does the same, mindfulness isn’t going to change that and isn’t likely to have much of an overall impact even if they engage.
It’s complicated. The solutions are going to be complicated as well. I’d like some simple mindfulness training to be “the answer” for everyone too, but it just isn’t.
On the other hand, if it helps you, keep doing it.
For Jeremy, the abuse stopped, and then he went on with life seemingly without issue. Until later, when there was an issue. We assume that all survivors keep their secrets because they are ashamed, and many of us do. But there are also survivors who don’t “look” like abuse survivors, they go on with a relatively normal and successful life, until one day they don’t. Someone who looks like your abuser, a different overwhelmingly stressful situation, an inadvertent touch, or a smell, can all bring it rushing back into your consciousness.
This is another reason why people don’t tell until much later. They don’t really have a reason to, they seem to be “over it”, but they aren’t always really over it.
This is yet another example of survivors being unique individuals and the fact that how each of us is impacted can be different too. Just because another survivor has a different journey than you, doesn’t mean much in the end.
There is a direct link between the growing prison population and the lack of mental health resources. The only difference is that we can scare people into paying to build more prisons and keep “dangerous people” away from us. It’s much harder to convince people to invest in prevention through mental health treatment, even if that would be much more effective in protecting everyone.
I’m a firm believer that we don’t need any kind of special permission to talk about mental health and the stories of people dealing with mental health issues any day that we want to, but I also wanted to bring a couple of special days that are being set aside in Canada and the UK for the purpose.
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