More about goals
Following up on that last post, I want to expound on a couple of things. Both of them have to do with personal responsibility. The first is something that should be obvious, but I know isn’t to many people. It wasn’t obvious to me for almost 30 years. 🙂
As we’ve already discussed, you can’t be responsible for anyone else’s happiness, but you are responsible for your own. If you are not happy with your life, do something about it! Quit waiting for someone else to make you happy. Quit waiting for that one person to come along who is going to make you happy. Quit blaming other’s for the unhappiness in your life. Take responsibility for your own happiness!
The other thing is the idea of life goals. I talked about one of my life goals being to be a good husband to my wife. That’s a good example of a goal, but it’s misleading. It’s a good example because meeting the goal is entirely up to me. I’m not dependent on anyone else to meet that goal. It’s a bit misleading because if you’re not married, being a good husband is a horrible goal! It’s horrible because you’re not anyone’s husband and you can’t work toward that goal today, which is what life goals really are all about.
I guess I should have explained further. One of my life goals is to be a good man. By that, I mean that my goal is to do the right thing, stand up for what I believe, be a good worker, be chivalrous, caring, kind and generous. To enjoy all the things life has to offer and share them with others, and to share the pain and suffering that life brings us as well. It involves many, many different aspects of my life, and it involves always striving to be better than I am today. Being a good husband is part of this larger goal now that I am someone’s husband, but before that, I was focused on being a good man, period. That’s a goal you can work on every day, for the rest of your life.
When setting your goals, the important thing to remember is where you end and other’s begin. I desire to have a good marriage, but it’s the part I control that I focus on, because I can’t control the rest. I desire to be respected at work, and recognized for my abilities, but my goal is to simply go to work each day and do my very best. That’s the part I control, the rest depends on someone else. If it happens, great, but even if it doesn’t, I met my goals, and I can feel good about what I’ve done. Waiting for other’s to affirm or approve your efforts can be a very long and unsatisifying wait.
Bottom line: It’s your life, you choose how you want to live it, and nobody else is going to live it for you.