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    Realistic Goals

    From time to time on this site, and on other sites frequented by survivors, I get asked the question about when it “ends”. What I find is that many survivors are looking for that time when they are simply never affected by anything related to their past. Most of the time I respond by pointing…

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    I have understood this for a long time. I can write here without having to see anyone react immediately when they read it. I can see their reaction when I tell someone about being abused in person. I can watch their facial expressions and body language. I can see every bit of their discomfort, and their signs of dismissal cut me. If you don’t think telling someone in person that you need their help isn’t scary, I can only assume that is because you’ve never done it.

    So when you see someone share something on social media about their mental health, and your response is to wonder why they didn’t just talk to you about it, remember how much harder that is. Maybe they aren’t ready yet, or you just haven’t done enough to earn that trust. Consider how many people in your life may be dealing with very difficult things they just haven’t told anyone about yet.

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    Now, I’ve never been one to say you shouldn’t worry a little about what kids are doing online, just as you shouldn’t worry a little and be careful about what they’re doing anywhere they are. I’ve also never been one to buy the hype about how the internet is just full over predators and nothing…

  • Follow up

    I told you earlier about my wife getting a gift certificate for a professional massage and the way the have to deal with victims of abuse and rape often. Well last night was my appointment and I’m happy to report that it was pretty cool.

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    Yes last weekend was my 36th birthday. On the 4th, as a matter of fact. It made for a fun weekend, what with your normal 4th of July festivites on top of various birthday celebrations. It was rather nice to have a 3 day weekend, to spend time with family and friends, relax, celebrate, etc….

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