Waiting at the Airport
I’m currently sitting in O’Hare airport, waiting to board a flight that I once thought I would never be capable of getting on. I’m flying to Dublin, Ireland tonight, a place I’ve always wanted to visit.
For years growing up I’ve always faced two obstacles to this trip. Obviously, finances being one, but also a common lack of confidence. Common, I say, for those of is who grew up as victims of abuse. As a child, and even into adulthood, I saw myself as someone barely hanging on not someone capable and confident. Flying overseas isn’t the most difficult thing to do, but picking up and going somewhere new, especially to another country, isn’t exactly comfortable either! Survivors love nothing more than staying within their comfort zone!
So, I’m going to be out of my comfort zone for a few weeks, and probably out of touch as well for the most part. I’m excited to finally have the opportunity to take a trip like this, and feeling pretty happy that I at least have gained some confidence in myself and my ability to get around.
I hope you will find your own small way to feel confident about yourselves while I’m gone!
Until I have the chance to post an update, slainte!
Have a great trip. Congrats on having acheived this milestone and enjoy being in Ireland. May the road rise to meet you and the wind be at your back.
I just found your blog. I am a fellow child abuse survivor. I had a similar experince a few months ago when I travelled to Mexico with my youngest; my 12 yerar old daughter. I was so scared that I couldn’t take care of her AND me on that trip. I was aware of how much I dissociated in the past when travelling, which was fine back then, but now I had this other person to take care of! I like how you talk about the mind shift that is neccessay in recovery. Most of my recovery work has been about changing my belief system, re wireing the beliefs that I adopted as a result of abuse. I also felt like I needed someone to hang on to. I keep reminding myself that sometimes re-wireing the belief systems is a big action step. Taking that leap…
Our trip went well.. I didn’t dissociate, I was really there for her, (which was my biggest goal for the trip) and we both came home feeling strong and more independant!
Glad that I found your blog.
Darlene, that’s great that you were able to take that trip with your daughter! I’m definitely enjoying my trip, even the challenges of figuring out how to get places! 😉
My first trip in 1998 to India, I felt as you do, full of fear and not very confident in myself. That trip showed me that I could do anything that I set my mind to. It also showed me that if I really wanted to do something, I could save the money to do it before hand. I grew in so many ways from that trip. I hope you will share some of your experiences about your trip here.
I just now read your blog about your Ireland trip. Congratulations on that accomplishment! A person in a support group for adults abused as children once told us all, “baby steps, baby steps.” That has stayed with me and helped many times. I celebrate your trip. My guess is lots of baby steps led to moving out of a comfort zone.
Love your blog and will definitely keep reading!