Getting it Done

One of the things I, and other survivors, struggle with is change. Change creates stress, and makes us uncomfortable, and if there’s anything survivors crave, it’s the comfort of what we know. New things tend to throw us, creating uncertainty and we have learn since early ages to try and keep things as certain as we possibly can. That’s how we survived our childhoods, and that is how we function through our adult issues.

So, as I approached moving to a new place and starting a new job at the beginning of April, I was definitely challenging myself and my learned defense mechanisms. As we start the month of May though, I’ve come a long way, and have definitely grown in confidence about myself. I’m down here in South Carolina by myself, my wife hasn’t made the move down yet, my friends and family are back in Ohio, and while my in-laws are only a couple of hours away, I am in essence relying only on my own ability to take care of myself. Like many survivors, my track record in regards to taking care of myself is a mixed bag. 😉

Given that, it feels good to know that I’m down here doing it. I know that I can do it and feel more confidence in myself and my abilities than I would had I not gone this route. Sometimes, in order to improve, you have to get outside the comfort zone. Knowing I can makes it easier to know that I can get through anything. After all, we survived our childhood, what can a little change do compared to that?

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  1. Oh I so wish I could go to both Ohio & SC !
    I love change .I think since healing and know fear is something to be looked at not afraid of I do so much better.
    of course I do like to return home to our own bed , for those comforts of home etc.
    I even know and although it does not feel good I value that change that may involve negative outcomes.
    I think that is it for survivors and victims when we find that comfort , why make changes, I mean change of anything can include the negative as well as the positive .why take a risk when we are now finally safe !
    honestly really we are not safe or comfortable , we actually get stuck when we are not open to change .
    my dh is there right now. he is so so afraid. I want him to be where I am and it is extremely hard to be pateint. I feel we are almost 50 ! come on buddy move it along , step it up , lets go for it . he refuses and yet he is miserable at the same time because he is stuck. if he’d go to a therapist I know he’d grow. I can be as qualified to councel him but I am his wife and it just will not count or be heard the same way .
    I’m happy for your family , SC appears so awesome . good luck & enjoy ?

  2. Yay for you, Mike! Out of the comfort zone is never easy but almost always is a good result as you have proven. Thanks for sharing to give hope to other survivors…inspiration to take that step forward or into the unknown for a better life.

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