If Not Now When, Indeed

The recent news about the passing of SurveyMonkey CEO Dave Goldberg caught my attention not just because he was in the tech industry, like I am, or that he was married to Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg which made him somewhat more famous than most, but because he was 47.

Yeah, I work in a similar industry, and will turn 47 in a few months.

The news has made me pause and think about my life. Then I read Kevin O’Keefe’s piece, inspired by Dave Winer. If Not Now, When?

Technologist and godfather to blogging, Dave Winer (@DaveWiner), on news of Goldman’s death posted to Facebook “If not now, when?” He said “It’s time to do whatever you were sent here to do.”

Kevin then goes on to talk about taking chances professionally, to do what you want to do, where you can make a real difference. It’s good stuff, but since this is a blog about being a survivor of child abuse, I want to ask you to take that same approach to your own healing journey.

If not now, when?

We are not promised anything, other than that one day, we will all pass away as well. Given that perspective, how much of whatever time you have left, are you willing to lose to your abuse before you step out and start trying to overcome what happened to you? Every day you have is a chance to move forward toward having the life you deserve, and there are only so many of them available. How many is too many? When is the “right” time? Why isn’t it today? It should be today. I’m not saying you need to be healed and living a great life tomorrow, but we all know that healing takes time and struggle, regardless of when you start down that path. Why not get on it and keep on it?

I’ve not yet met a survivor who has been down that path who regrets doing it. I’ve met plenty who’s one regret is that they waited so long, that they spent too much of the little life we are given believing it wasn’t possible, or was too hard. It just isn’t either one of those things. You can heal, and you deserve to. Go ahead and get started now, you don’t know how much longer you have.