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Sharing – Supporting Your New Partner if They Are A Survivor
Understanding this is one of the hardest things about being in a relationship, of any kind, with an abuse survivor. As a sexual abuse survivor, it has been paramount in my romantic relationships to talk openly about my experience and what things can be very difficult for me. These discussions are important because there can be things that seem very simple and routine to you that your partner does not see the same way. (For example, I don’t like to be touched until I can see the person touching me and know they are someone safe. Approaching me from behind and touching me before I’ve had a chance to “see” who I am with can be very startling to me.)
I like to think that survivors are worth the effort, and my wife has confirmed that at least our relationship is worth it. It requires honesty and openness that may be new to survivors, but it’s the only way forward.
Sharing – How to Talk to Kids About Sexual Abuse
So yes, some of these conversations will be difficult, but believe me, the conversation with your adult kids about the abuse they suffered as children without you knowing about it, will be a lot harder. I’ve had that conversation with my parents in my 20’s. I’m sure they wished they didn’t have to have that.
