“When I thought about my childhood, I often told myself, “That’s not was that was.” I always had an excuse. But I still kept much of my past a secret. When I talked to my friends I pretended that we were the average family with average interactions. Yet all those feelings of helplessness, terror, disgust, and anger didn’t come from a vacuum. If I didn’t know there was something wrong at home, why did I make sure to hide it from everyone?”
How we view what happened to us as children is different for everyone. Some simply don’t want to see that they were abused, for a variety of reasons, not wanting to be seen as a victim, not wanting to see a parent or family member as an abuser, and so on. On the other hand, some want to be the victim and remain that way into adulthood, always playing the martyred party in relationships.
No matter how your abuse affected you, and what you want to call it, if this article describes you, yes you were abused, but you are not alone. Millions of us are out here.