Link – Why kids are so good at keeping abuse a secret
I wish we could get people to understand this fact, and the myriad reasons for it given in the article below.
“When you look at sexual abuse, period — in adults and kids — delayed disclosure is the norm,” Kristen Houser, spokeswoman for the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “But this is more so in kids. The experience of sexual abuse at the hands of an adult you are supposed to trust is a shocking and confusing experience. We aren’t talking about violent assaults with weapons or things that makes it obvious to children that what’s happening is wrong. When it is done in subtle ways, and especially when we’re talking about, say, a 12-year-old, there are questions of Did that really happen? Did I do something to deserve that? So if you’re not certain why something happened and you feel shame about it, the last thing you want to do is tell someone, because you’re afraid you’ll be blamed, judged, and not believed.”
One of the easiest ways to dismiss a survivor is to openly wonder “why it took so long to come forward”, without any understanding that coming forward is the exception, not the norm. Many, many victims never come forward at all, most who do, come forward well after the fact. That’s normal, not immediately rushing to tell someone.