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How We Talk to Ourselves Matters
As you read the rest of the article you’ll see how self-distancing conversations look a lot more like those conversations with friends I referenced earlier. Getting away from all of the “I” and “me” and fairly judging the situation quietly and calmly as if it was happening to someone else can put it into a perspective that we sometimes lose when we are thinking of ourselves, especially those of us who struggle with self-blame. Of course, then that self-blame turns to rumination which feeds into depression, and round and round we go.
There is a better way, and the examples given can help if we are willing to practice them. Especially the idea of reminding ourselves that we’ve already been through tougher, and more stressful situations and come out the other side.
Sharing – Toxic Positivity: Harmful or Helpful
It’s the insistence that everyone around you also is positive all the time, demanding “Good Vibes Only” as the article points out, that worries me. Because people in real pain, social issues that cause real harm, etc. are not good vibes. When a team was winning gold medals, no one wanted to do more than focus on that success, and repeated stories of abuse went ignored. Is our constant need for positivity forcing us to ignore racism, homelessness, abuse, and many other social issues that we need to do more than give passing support to on social media?
Maybe most importantly, are there people in our lives right now hurting, who desperately need our support, who we are ignoring because they bring us down?
Sharing – Belief in a Fair Economy Linked to Greater Mental Health Stigma, Study Finds
This makes sense. If you believe that society is ultimately fair, then poverty is a personal shortcoming rather than a failure of the system. If being poor is a personal shortcoming, the mental health impacts of living in poverty must also be your own responsibility to be dealt with, not a source of sympathy.
Link – How do I tell someone I have a problem?
While this article is written for people trying to get help with drug or alcohol problems, I found the basics of this to be very familiar to what you go through when trying to tell someone about depression, or past child abuse, or any situation where you need help. I especially like that it’s not…
Sharing – I wrote a memoir about abuse. That doesn’t mean you’re entitled to every detail
Every survivor has the freedom to choose how, when, and in what detail, they want to share their story. You can ask for more, but you also have to respect the survivor’s choice to not answer. They don’t owe you that. The only time it’s really even appropriate to press for details if you’re a criminal prosecutor trying to help the survivor bring the abuser to justice.
Outside of that very specific situation? No, we don’t owe you anything. You can support a survivor without knowing all the details. In fact, respecting their boundaries around what they decide to share, is one great way to support them in their healing. They’ve already had too many people not respect their boundaries.
Link – Viral Twitter Thread Nails What Having Social Anxiety Is REALLY Like
What I love about this is not just the topic, but how it shows how much good we could be doing with social media, how much we could be using it to support each other, and educate. “Which is why this viral Twitter thread is so important — people everywhere who have social anxiety are…
