Gretchen provides a good reminder about having the courage to be new, or become something new:
“The courage to be new is like all good advice. You forget it. And then you need to be reminded again. And again. And so I am reminding myself (and you too) at the start of this week: Have the courage to be new.
This is also, like all good advice, easier said than done. Which is funny because we do all sorts of things to try and be new— we try to make change, or we actually make change. We buy new clothes, we seek out new relationships, new jobs, new roles, new experiences. And then we freak out when things feel different.”
For abuse survivors, I’ve been on record talking about how so many of us are trying to somehow go back to the life timeline that we would have been on had the abuse not happened, and I’ve suggested that you can’t.
What you can be is something new, though. If you have the courage to try it. It’s going to require many of us to learn some new skills, but these are skills we simply missed out on as children because of the abuse, not skills we are incapable of learning at any age. It’s also going to require us to have the stregth to walk away from coping mechanisms we’ve gotten very used to, but it’s time. Let’s replace them with something new and healthy.