No, kids don’t get over it without help

How many times have we heard a story of child abuse followed by someone claiming that they’ll be fine and that “kids are resilient”

I understand it. We look at a small child and don’t want to accept that there is anything but innocence. Yes, they were violated, and they’ve suffered trauma, but we assume that they are young, they’ll heal, maybe they’ll even forget it.

The truth is that abuse victims can be resilient, but generally not on their own. We also know that it doesn’t end there.

The Cyclical Nature of Adverse Childhood Experiences

Unfortunately, negative adverse childhood experiences rarely exist in isolation. Instead, they can often be a part of a repeated cycle across generations. Children exposed to ACEs may develop coping strategies that inadvertently reinforce trauma patterns in their own lives and families and, in turn, their children.

I know this first-hand. I didn’t get help until after I had ruined a marriage. I had no business getting married in my 20s. I had far too many unhealthy coping mechanisms and far too few tools to avoid dissociating.

Kids dealing with trauma need help to learn resiliency, not wishful thinking. Until we get that straight, we’ll continue seeing this cycle.