• Sharing – Trauma Is Not a One-Size-Fits-All

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    As many of you know, we spent much of 2019 grieving. Then, we spent most of 2020, and the early parts of 2021 dealing with a global pandemic. Now that I have been vaccinated, I am also realizing just how much PTSD I’m dealing with. As I have read a few times in the last couple of weeks about others, I am now in a situation where I should feel pretty safe, but I don’t. I’ve spent 2 years waiting for someone else I know to die, and then doing my best to not be near anyone. I can’t just turn that off now that I have been vaccinated. I still get extremely anxious when I have to be somewhere. I still pay very, very careful attention to anyone around me when I’m in public, and just generally spend that time being on edge, constantly. It’s exhausting. It makes me want to stay home, and avoid people. My being vaccinated didn’t change that at all.

  • Sharing – Young girls more vulnerable to online predators than ever

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Imagine, if you will, the awkward social learning that goes on at a middle-school dance, for example. Now imagine a handful of 40 year old men were in the middle of that awkwardness, disguised as teens? You’d have some serious chats with your daughter before sending her off to the dance, wouldn’t you?

    What do you think the internet is for 11-13 year-olds?

    Have that talk, keep open lines of communication, understand the tools they are using, and how they are using them. If anything, please do not think they are too young to have to worry about this. Clearly, they do.

  • Sharing – Similar patterns of behavior emerge in sex abuse scandals

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Look, if you work at a non-profit, you do so for a reason, and that reason is usually tied to the work that the organization does. It’s something you believe in, feel passionate about, and in most cases agree to work for a lower salary to be part of. It’s a massive part of your identity.

    Double all of that when the organization works on behalf of kids.

    So imagine, if you will, a scenario where you have so much of your own identity tied into the good work done by you and your coworkers, and someone comes along and claims that actually, there are kids being harmed in that environment, not helped at all.

    Are we all so sure we wouldn’t at least hesitate and consider for just a moment, that we’d be better off ignoring that and continuing the “good work” on behalf of kids?

    I can believe that happens. I can understand how it happens. I can understand how crushing it would be to have something you believed in that strongly, and have part of your team be accused of something so heinous.

    But we have to fight that, and make sure that the work we think we are doing on behalf of children, is the whole truth of what is going on in the organization. We cannot afford to lose ourselves, and our better judgment, to our passion for the work. We have to stay level-headed and aware.

    Those kids deserve that, and the good work you want your organization to continue doing, requires it.

  • Sharing – How I Talked to My Teen About Suicide-And How You Can Do It Better

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

    When we talk about sitting with someone in their pain, we have to do the hard thing, we have to acknowledge that their pain is real, and might very well be life-threatening. We don’t want to think that way, but I guarantee you, someone suffering enough to consider suicide, knows for sure that they are absolutely dealing with a life-threatening disease.

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    Sharing – Working with Male Survivors: When Reaching Male Survivors, Consider Your Program’s Name

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Here’s what I want you to consider. As a victim of sexual abuse, who identifies as male, I go in assuming that most of the resources available are going to be targeted to women. Because, in many cases, they are only available for women. So, if your organization doesn’t make it clear that you serve everyone, with clear examples, and promotion, many male victims may not ever reach out to you.

  • Sharing – How to Talk to Kids About Sexual Abuse

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

    So yes, some of these conversations will be difficult, but believe me, the conversation with your adult kids about the abuse they suffered as children without you knowing about it, will be a lot harder. I’ve had that conversation with my parents in my 20’s. I’m sure they wished they didn’t have to have that.