So yes, some of these conversations will be difficult, but believe me, the conversation with your adult kids about the abuse they suffered as children without you knowing about it, will be a lot harder. I’ve had that conversation with my parents in my 20’s. I’m sure they wished they didn’t have to have that.
As the authors point out, your approach to self-care should be different depending on what is causing the burnout. If you’re just exhausted from a lack of sleep, overwork, etc. taking a day to rest, relax, and take care of yourself might be the best thing you can do for yourself. (Recognizing, as mentioned above, that if you’re overworked, fixing that falls on other people and the company) On the other hand, if you’re burned out from watching the news, and developing really a very cynical outlook of other people. spending a day isolating yourself from social connections even further, might not really be the best option. So, self care starts to look a little different depending on not only your own individual preferences, but also what it is that is causing these feelings of burnout.
Of course, the struggle here is knowing yourself, and your emotions.
Whatever the motivation, that’s not the appropriate thing to do. The article below walks through the steps of reporting it to the platform where you saw it, and also reporting it to the proper law enforcement agencies. Those are the places who can actually investigate this, not your friends and groups.
Please, keep this in mind, and keep this handy.
The article below is about the UK, where NHS funding determines how much mental health treatment is available, and when too many people need it, someone has to decide who does, and doesn’t. Usually that means people who aren’t “sick enough”, get nothing, and continue to get worse.
Can we say the same isn’t true in other countries? In the US, we have a severe shortage of mental health resources and funding too. Maybe there’s not a government agency determining who is “sick enough”, but there are plenty of obstacles to getting care that leave you with similar results. You’re not sick enough to be a priority, you’re not insured enough to get treatment, you’re not wealthy enough to get private care, and on and on.
I have managed to be somewhat successful by society’s standard. I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. To assume that must mean I wasn’t that hurt by it, is to tell me that you know nothing of my life, or the lives of thousands of other men like me. Is it any wonder so many don’t come forward and talk about it?
But, as the article below points out, there are too many men in pain, with nowhere to go, for us to not talk about it. They deserve better.
If you choose to forgive, know that it is your choice, including what forgiveness means to you. I’ve talked to many survivors who have made that choice, and how they define forgiveness isn’t always the same Know, however, that it absolutely does not mean you have to now be silent and never bring it up again, and know that people who desire your silence, are not your allies.
I will agree with Roseanna about that, it’s not about forgiveness, it’s about healing.
