• Sharing – Pay attention to the chameleon kids

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    ake describes the risk of these kids growing up to be people pleasers. I’d go one further. Not only did I grow up as a people pleaser, but I also had zero sense of self. Without someone to react to and to become the person they wanted me to be, I was no one. I tell people this often but I spent more time in therapy figuring out who I am than I spent trying to process childhood trauma and that was a direct result of growing up as this chameleon kid. My entire personality was based on fitting what was needed by other people, starting with my alcoholic father and the person who sexually abused me, right through to friends and my first wife. I was what I thought they wanted me to be. When my therapist started asking about what I wanted to be, I was blank. There was nothing there.

  • Sharing – Teen Suicide: What Parents Need to Know

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

    We have said often that the best prevention we can offer is to simply keep people connected to those around them. When you’re talking about teens, staying connected to them as parents is vital. When it’s a friend, another family member, an adult, a kid, etc. the best thing we can offer is staying connected with them.

    That connection, that knowledge that they are not, in fact, going through this pain alone can make all the difference.

    Why not offer it?

  • Sharing – Why Complex Trauma Survivors Can’t Just ‘Get Over It’

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    You don’t decide to get over that. It’s not impossible to heal from it but it’s going to require quite a bit more than just deciding to get over it. So maybe you’d do a lot more good supporting people through that process instead of demanding they get over it so you can feel more comfortable.

  • What is Sextortion and Why Are Kids Getting Caught Up in This?

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

    We know where the story goes from there, but if you have kids who spend any time online, you may want to give it a read and dig deeper into some of the linked resources they’ve created for parents. There’s some good information about what to look for and how to teach kids to be more aware.

    Don’t just assume this won’t happen to your kid.

  • It’s Amazing What You Get Used To

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    When Nedra talks about growing up in an alcoholic family, naturally that was something that resonated with me. Growing up my father was an alcoholic. It was normal for me to fear your father, especially when they’d been drinking. It was normal for there to be violence at home. It was normal for children to be physically attacked for as little as making too much noise.

    Perhaps worst of all, it was also normal to keep it all secret, to not share what happens at home outside of the immediate family.

    Which made it all the more easy for the sexual abuse I suffered later to be kept secret. And, in some odd way, for it also to seem normal.

  • Sharing – Lost in the Storm

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    If you’re not familiar with what it can be like to try and get the proper mental health care in the US you should read this story. However, as you do read it, I need you to understand that this story, as hard as it is, actually represents the better side of the Mental Healthcare system. Ash’s parents have some financial means and expertise to help them navigate the system, even if her Mom had to leave her job. Now imagine what this looks like for someone without those things.