Today, I happened to come across some more research that should make us question another of our flip answers to someone struggling with their mental health, eat healthier. Because, when eating at all is in question, telling someone to eat healthier is not solving any issues for them.
It’s an easy copout for the mental health community to suggest self-care items that will help with mental health without acknowledging the reality for many. Telling people to do things like create more space for sleep, or make healthier food choices while still not making a wage that would pay for those things is just mean. What we do as a society matters when it comes to the mental health of all of our members. We can’t hide from that fact.
The math seems pretty simple here. We lose nothing by being kind and friendly. We might all gain enough to prevent the loss of another life. Suicide Prevention might involve some huge programs and resources, but it can start right here in how we interact with even our most casual connections.
For many survivors, their definition of healed automatically becomes a goal that can never be reached. We should quit trying to “be the person I was before the abuse” because it’s impossible. By setting that as our pass/fail goal, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of falling short, instead of a lifetime of celebrating the gap between where we started and where we are today. We also never find a better goal that is more realistic.
Please, take a good look at how you are defining healed. More importantly, don’t lose sight of the amount of healing and growth that you’ve already done. Be proud of it. This is your life, it’s not a pass/fail exam. It’s so much bigger than that.
That’s depression. That empty feeling that nothing matters and the inability to feel anything because it doesn’t matter. But, it’s hard to express that. It’s difficult to come up with a header image that displays that when we talk about depression. I’ve said before, our default image to use when talking about depression is the young, white woman lying or sitting looking sad.
The parents trying to navigate the maze of mental healthcare while also trying to work to help pay for the care that winds up not being covered and be there for their other children as well. It’s a lot. All of that stress isn’t good for anyone’s health, mental and physical. Imagine trying to support a child with getting mental healthcare while also needing your own care, or dealing with illnesses.
It’s a mess. I don’t envy parents who find themselves in this position. If you know any parents in this boat, maybe see what they need. Find some way to take a little stress off. Provide a meal or two, run some errands for them, etc. They need it more than they will probably ever admit.
