• Sharing – 11 Factors That Increase the Risk of Child Sexual Abuse

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    For example, if we know that kids who don’t understand boundaries, are lonely, live in stressful family situations, and do not have open communication with other people in their lives, are more likely to be sexually abused, what does that mean when a teen comes out and is not accepted by their family? Or when a blended family becomes dysfunctional, or a kid with disabilities is not taught boundaries but kept hidden away from others?

    You have kids who are lonely, who don’t feel safe and loved, who don’t understand boundaries, etc.

    If a kid who’s lonely and lacking in self esteem is at risk. And a kid who identifies as LGBTQ+ is at risk, can we stop for a minute and consider that it’s not being LGBTQ+ that is a risk factor, it’s how much more likely that kid is to be lonely and lacking in self-esteem?

    And thus, the cycle continues. When it shouldn’t. We know what it is about disabled kids, kids from blended families, or LGBTQ+ kids that make them more prone to abuse, mental health issues, and suicide. It’s not their reality, it’s the responses to their reality that create the risk factors. The things that make them more likely to be loners, disconnected from family support, lacking safe adults to communicate with, etc.

    So maybe we should focus on being more supportive of all kids?

    And, since we’re on the topic and it is June. Happy Pride!

  • Sharing – Are You Hypervigilant?

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Sound familiar? I know, for me, this is absolutely the truth, and even though I’ve done a ton of work to overcome this, and learn how to turn off this hyper vigilance, there are still times when it kicks in, like say during a pandemic.

    I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it here. The last 16 months have forced everyone into being hyper vigilant. How do we suddenly turn that off? How exhausted are we from spending that much time constantly on the lookout for danger, and the worst case scenario?

    Personally, that exhaustion goes beyond any words I have to describe it. It reminds me very much of what it was like in my 20s when I only had the life skills I learned as a kid, which were mostly just responses to abuse, not healthy ways to live as an adult.

  • Sharing – Our mental health crashed in 2020. Recovery could take years

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

    The article below gets into a lot more of the details of how different groups have been affected in a variety of ways, but the thing that I found myself nodding along to was this idea. This is not going to go away this Summer. People you know who have struggled, and have anxiety about things opening back up again, or are dealing with grief and depression, or the aftermath of all of the trauma that we’ve borne witness to over the last couple of years, are not going to just be “back to normal” and ready to hit happy hour like nothing happened.

    We’re not there. We’re not going to be there for awhile. Give those people, and yourself if that describes you, some grace and patience.

    Most of all, don’t stigmatize anyone for not being OK for a bit. We’ve all been dealing with different levels of trauma and anxiety, and you likely don’t even know half of how much people around you have been dealing with.

    So, just be kind, OK?

  • Sharing – Lean on Your Support System When You’re Anxious

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

    It’s grounding. It doesn’t solve the thing I’m anxious about, but it stops the cycling, and allows me to focus on the reality of the situation, which is usually not nearly as bad as I’ve made it out to be.

    But, it also assumes that I have someone to talk to about it. This is really the challenge for far too many people, who don’t have anyone to talk to.

    Can you be the person who just listens? I’m willing to bet someone in your life could really use that.

  • Sharing – Are you okay? The power of storytelling in mental health

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    As I mentioned, in the workplace this is true. Very few people are going to feel safe talking about their own struggles if the leaders in the company never open up about their own at some level. But, it’s also true in our relationships as well.

    How many of us wish the people in our lives, spouses, kids, siblings, friends and loved ones, would feel comfortable talking to us about their struggles, yet we never share our own? How would they know that you are a safe person to talk to if you appear to never have any struggles?

    Let me give you a prime example from my own life. As many of you know, I worked from home before the pandemic started, and continued to do so all the way through 2020. It had very little impact beyond some lack of socializing, on my life, and so when I compared that to what many others were going through in 2020, I didn’t really want to complain about the things I was struggling with. Most people I did talk to, didn’t really talk about their own struggles either. Finally, however, when I wrote a post about not being OK right now, and shared it across my social media profiles, including LinkedIn, I got notes and messages from a ton of people, some who I haven’t even been in touch with in awhile, telling me about their struggles as well.

    I attribute that to two things. One, I know a lot of amazing people who see someone struggling and immediately set out to make sure I knew I wasn’t alone, and two, by sharing my own difficulties, I also provided them a safe place to share their own struggles.

    Isn’t that what it’s really all about?

    So, what are you struggling with that you have been hiding? What good is hiding doing for you?

  • Sharing – Mental health advocacy doesn’t equal visibility for everyone

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Carter is writing about mental health in Canada, but I think this really applies everywhere. When we talk about Mental Health Awareness, there’s a lot of focus on people struggling with Anxiety and Depression to seek help, and let them know they aren’t alone. That’s important, but it’s just part of the story: