• Another Reminder – Just Because Something Works for Others, Does Not Mean It’ll Work For You

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    If Mindfulness is something that helps you, great. If it doesn’t, don’t beat yourself up over that fact, or continue a practice that is actually causing harm. That makes no sense at all. Just accept that it’s not for you, and hopefully, the people around us who are pushing it as the cure-all, especially the ones trying to sell it to you, can learn to accept that too.

    What has your experience with it been? What other “recommended” tools have not worked for you? How did you handle the folks who continue to tell you it would?

  • Sharing – Small Talk With A Stranger Can Still Save Lives, Says Samaritans

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    I’ve talked about this a little bit, but maybe not in detail. When I was really struggling, I can’t necessarily say that someone starting a conversation with me made the difference that day. I don’t think I was self-aware enough to know that. What I do know, however, is that being seen makes a huge difference. In my depression, I did not want to be seen. I wanted to fade away. That was the driver behind my desire, to simply not be here. To disconnect from everything in order to disconnect from the pain I was in. Small connections helped me understand what I was giving up, and why I might want to rethink that.

  • Does Childhood Trauma Disrupt Our Storytelling Abilities?

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 3 minutes

    I will admit, in healthcare, these two types of narrative incoherence could cause a problem. How would a medical professional move forward with a diagnosis when our response to the first question is to dump an overwhelming amount of possibly relevant, possibly not, information, or to dismiss any symptoms? It really would be difficult to know. We know that the folks who get to the quickest, and best, healthcare are the ones who come in with details like what is wrong, how long it’s been going on, what happened previously to an illness or injury, etc. Trauma survivors typically struggle with exactly that.

    This is only one way where not being able to tell a story in a coherent, effective, way hurts survivors. It blocks us from legal proceedings, as I said before, and it blocks us from being understood by those closest to us quite often. So, if you really want to connect with others, and maybe get better healthcare, learn to tell stories. That’s how the world communicates. But, if you’re confronted with someone who is struggling to tell a coherent story, consider what kind of trauma they may be dealing with, and have a little patience.

  • Sharing – Why I Post About My Mental Health on Facebook

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Those folks need the opportunity to see another side to the story, and the more people who can safely tell their stories, the more we can let those folks know that they are, in fact, not alone.

    If I’ve learned one thing from having this website for close to 20 years and being active on various social media platforms, it’s that you never know who is reading, and how it might impact them. Some people will tell you, and others will never mention it, but they are reading it. Would you rather be the person who helped someone feel less alone, and provided some hope, or the person who shut them down?

    I know which one I have chosen.

  • |

    Sharing – Male Survivors Of Sexual Abuse Struggle To Find Treatment

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    When I was undergoing treatment with a therapist, she actually tried to get me involved in group sessions. The sexual abuse survivor group I attended a few times was not for male survivors, it was for any survivor, and I just happened to be the only male in the group. It didn’t last long. To get any help for me, as a male survivor, I had to kind of be wedged into programs and tools that were designed for female survivors. It still helped me, but it could have been better, and might not have helped a lot of men. I do believe it’s gotten slightly better over the years, but only slightly. It’s still a huge problem. We still don’t have any real idea of how many male survivors there are, or how to make resources available to them. Partly because we don’t talk about it enough, and partly because when men do talk about it, they aren’t listened to.

    We pay the price for that. Those survivors grow up, and struggle, on their own, with mental health and other issues. They don’t feel safe coming forward, and they are often made to feel weak if they even consider asking for help.

    That’s no way for anyone to go through life.