Shame Graffitti

Sharing – 5 Things to Know About Toxic Shame

ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

If you’ve ever wondered why we talk about shame often on this site or any other site about child abuse, it’s because, for us, this is the exact description of what it’s like being abused as a child.

When we are in a state of shame, we are not open to sharing our authentic Self. Our shame tells us we have something to hide, and that we are broken, defective, or different. Furthermore, shame tells us that if anyone finds out who we really are, we will be rejected.

Heck, for me, these words were pretty close to exact quotes from the person who abused me. I wanted this because I’m bad, if anyone found out about it, or the way my body reacted, they would know who I really am and reject me. It’s part and parcel of being abused, believing this.

Of course, none of it is true, but when this is what your own mind tells you every single day for years and years? It’s not going away that easy, so maybe spend some time reading links like the one below about how to combat toxic shame.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotion-information/202107/5-things-know-about-toxic-shame

Similar Posts

Daily Mail Mistaken CSA ID General Features

ByCBG Reading Time: 1 minute

The Daily Mail published and updated its view on the mistaken identification of the wrong politician in the North Wales child abuse scandal last Friday, updating it on Monday 12th November. That article is here.  This first article from last week was not the hatchet job on Stephen Messham implied by one of the Independent on Sunday’s articles linked…

Sharing – What to Say to the Person with Mental Illness

Sharing – What to Say to the Person with Mental Illness

ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

You will not go through life never knowing anyone who is dealing with mental health issues. You might go through life never being trusted enough for anyone to tell you about theirs, but educating yourself will go a long way to being useful, and supportive, to the people you care about.

Seriously, go read it. And save it.

Sharing – The Power of Believing in Yourself

Sharing – The Power of Believing in Yourself

ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

The way to start believing in yourself is to have experiences you can look back on and draw strength from. When I feel anxious about something at work, meeting new people, moving, or other stressful situations, it helps tremendously to recall when I have already successfully done those things.

Or, sometimes it helps to remember the times I wasn’t successful, but I survived nonetheless. That can also be a huge relief, the memory that these failures, or accidents, won’t kill me.

Sharing – Mental Health: When People Tell You How They Feel, Believe Them.

Sharing – Mental Health: When People Tell You How They Feel, Believe Them.

ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

It’s not just saying I believe you when someone tells you they are struggling with depression or anxiety. It’s all of the subtle ways we show them that we don’t believe them. The “But you don’t look”, the “you’ll be fine”, the toxic positivity, the refusal to change your own behavior in supportive ways, etc., do just as much damage. They send the message that we don’t believe what you just said is serious enough to warrant doing anything differently.

Is that the message you want to send someone who trusted you enough to admit they are struggling with you? That their struggles aren’t valid enough for you to do anything differently?

Links I’m Sharing (weekly)

Links I’m Sharing (weekly)

ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the partners of people with mental health issues 7 Common Myths About Psychotherapy The value of mental health training in the workplace Does Suicide Stigma Look Different for Men and Women? How to Move Forward When Your Story Holds You Back Friends in Crisis: What to Do When You…

Link – Recovery from mental illness can be a long road, be patient

ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

But mental illness is messy and it impacts people in unique ways. While a doctor can estimate the healing time required for a sprained knee ligament, the same cannot be said for a mental illness such as schizophrenia. Each person has a unique experience with mental illness. While two people may share a diagnosis, their…

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.