Given abuse victim’s severe dislike for anything they can’t control, and depression sufferer’s tendency to feel completely overwhelmed when things don’t work they way they should, maybe working with computers wasn’t the best choice I could have made. When things go wrong, they really tend to go wrong, and when things don’t work, trying to find the source of the problem can be a very overwhelming challenge for anyone, let alone someone who has to be mindful of not feeling too overwhelmed.
On the other hand, being able to fix problems and control the technology is a pretty powerful feeling in it’s own right, so maybe that’s why I got interested to begin with, eh?
Chris
I work with computers too, and I hadn’t actually made the connection (I’m a little slow that way sometimes) but I do tend to get very depressed and self-critical when things aren’t going well at work.
Thanks for the insight. I’m enjoying your blog very much. Wishing you peace…
MichaelE
Empowerment is a drug. It’s one of the few ‘drugs’ that I endorsefully! When you are in crisis mode and you hit that wall then through perserverance and effort burst forth, the euphoria and elation that results is ever so sweet. I tend to compare it to the reason people play golf… That one good shot that keeps you coming back for more!
– Peace Mike!
Tinfoil
As another male who lived thru it all I can say is beware of ‘survivor’ websites with public-access forums,discussion boards or the whatnot. No real survivors there. Bunch of perps and pervs posting psychobabble nonsense about recovered memories and triggering. I’m alive and so are us all who lived thru this during childhood not because we were weak but because we were and are strong. We’d be dead,otherwise. We don’t cry in our beer. An American.
Mike
Tinfoil,
I agree that some discussion boards tend to be crap, which is why I’m leaning toward doing something like that, to do it right from the beginning. But I do think survivors need to talk about what happened, not just for your own good, but to help others see what is going on, what damage is done, etc. Being silent aout it really doesn’t do anyone any good. Not “crying in your beer” but being honest about what happened and how it’s affected your life definitely helps others as they go through the same things, at least that’s my opinion. 🙂