Movie Review Time
OK first off, let me just say that if you haven’t seen, and are planning on going to see, Reign over Me, the new Adam Sandler/Don Cheadle movie, you might want to skip this post. I’ll be providing some details about the movie that you might not want to know going in. No, not the ending or anything like that, but still…..
OK, now if you are still reading, I assume you are ok with knowing this so here it goes.
There’s a scene in the movie that really rang true to me, because I’ve been there. Shortly after Charlie tries to commit “suicide by cop”, he goes from being released from jail to a 3 day stay at Roosevelt Island for a psych evaluation. During this time, he doesn’t really say anything, he just has the look of a defeated man, while everyone else talks around him about what to do with him. He has no input, nor does he offer any.
I recognized the feeling. There was a time, after a dissociative episode followed by a failed suicide attempt, when I was in a similar situation. I really didn’t have anything to say, I was defeated. To my mind, I couldn’t even kill myself correctly, I had nothing to offer in terms of how to take care of myself, it was up to other people to figure that out. I was resigned to the fact that these other people would decide what to do with me, all I could do was sit there. Just like Adam Sandler did in those scenes.
I don’t know how accurate his overall portrayal of a widower who lost his entire family on 9/11 is, and I don’t know if everyone will find it believable, but given the one part that I do have some experience with, I found it pretty true to life.
The rest of the movie is emotional, sad, touching, etc. Everything you’d expect given the plot. It’s pretty good, but probably a bit heavy for some people.
Continuing on from the last post about taking a break, I am back at the cinema watching movies very regularly. They are the perfect escape, a childhood pastime since my mother took me to see Star Wars (Hey guess my age 😀 ) and, if set in America, cheap tourism.
However, when the movies Bad Education and The History Boys were released, I never went to see them. I don’t know whether it was my lack of knowledge about Almodovar and good modern plays that stopped me, or the fact that there were was the potential to get triggered with some of the hinted abuse scenes that kept me away. The two films were released either side of my rock bottom moment last summer when illness brought on three nights of flashbacks and rememberance of my abuse.
I’ve since recorded Bad Education from TV and have yet to watch it although I’ve started therapy and am in a better position to handle what I see. It’s good to be back in touch with my chief hobby anyway, even if some films may be more work than others.
hi,
i have burning question for other survivors and i wasn’t sure where to ask it, so here it is in the comments section of your blog. i hope that’s okay.
i’m a 28 year old survivor of sexual abuse who untill recently has completely avoided dating and anything that engaged me as a sexual person. I started dating recently but i’m don’t know what i want, or even what i like. I don’t even know what or who i’m attracted to. It’s as if i have kept that part of me shut away for so long, i can’t feel it anymore.
I feel badly because i’ve had a friend hit on me recently and while flirting is fun i don’t know if i’m attracted to other women. I had a man ask me what it is i find attractive in men and i don’t have an answer. i know attractive when i see, i guess.
So here is my question, do other survivors feel this disconected from their sexuality?
much respect,
ps. sorry for the long rant.