Quick Thought #13 – More Trauma Makes More Problems More Likely, and This is TraumaPin

Quick Thought #13 – More Trauma Makes More Problems More Likely, and This is Trauma

All of the caveats aside about ACE scores that I’ve written about before, (tl;dr – Yes the more childhood traumas you’ve had, the more likely you will deal with various issues as an adult, but it’s not a set fate for everyone.)

I think we can, however, accept that children who dealt with more traumatic events are more likely to suffer from depression, have issues with addiction and a variety of other poor outcomes.

What we may not realize, is that every child, and adult for that matter, has been dealing with major life upheaval, sudden, forced changes in our day to day lives, stress and the anxiety of not know what is coming, at a minimum. We can add that many children are also dealing with loss of someone they know, the trauma of dealing with racism and other issues, their parents losing jobs, etc.

In short, that ACE score calculator just keeps getting ticked off more and more. Just about everyone has added one, some as many as 3-4, in the last 3-4 months.

There is no question that this is going to lead to more people dealing with poor outcomes, unless we can get people to help, and resources, as soon as possible. Can we? I don’t know, but we probably should really be thinking about it before we end up with an even worse epidemic of addiction, depression and suicide.

Secondly, I have a question for anyone who truly believes that “everything happens for a reason”, or that trauma is designed to teach us and help us grow. If that were true, how do you understand ACE scores? Wouldn’t more trauma in childhood give us stronger, and more resilient adults? Because that’s not at all what we see in reality.

Similar Posts

  • Giving

    I told you a while back that I was going to be looking for a new place to give all the money I’ve raised, what little there is, plus some of my own. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the Prevent Child Abuse America organization, it was more that I felt like I gave to…

  • Quick Thought #18 – Sports as an Example of The Lens We See Life Through

    Just like in sports though, sometimes it’s not about how the world works, or what mistakes we made, it’s about the other team. In our case, it’s the abuser. They did this. Healing is understanding that, and coming to grips with the fact that our lens is wrong. We’re looking at someone else’s actions and choices through a lens that only sees ourselves. We were abused, maybe when we told someone, we weren’t believed, or maybe even as adults, when we share our experiences we make others uncomfortable. But it’s not us. Other people get to make their own choices, have their own reactions, and choose who, and what, to believe.

    What we need to do, is start untying other people actions and reactions, from ourselves. The abuser chose to abuse. The people who refused to help, made that choice, and the people who still don’t believe us, have their own reasons for doing that. None of it has anything to do with us, those are other people making their own choices, playing their own game. We can do everything right, live our life to the best of our abilities and still “lose” in these interactions. It happens. It doesn’t lessen us, it shows us who these other people are, and tells us about their agendas.

    We learn from that, and move on. We do not blame ourselves for their agendas.

    It does take developing a more mature lens to view life through, and that takes time, and work. Are you up for it? Or maybe the better question, are you tired of blaming yourself?

  • Barret Robbins

    I’ve been following the story of Barrett Robbins since he was dismissed by the Raiders before the Super Bowl. It appears that he has a history of depression and Bi-poloar Disorder, and somehow had managed to stop taking his medication. The details of the whole thing are murky, (like the details of anyone’s life when…

  • New links

    Don’t know if anyone’s noticed that I added a couple of survivor blogs to the blogroll, End of Abuse and The last one. As always, if you know of any blogs by abuse depression or disability survivors, please pass them on!

  • |

    In Order to Learn, We Need to Unlearn

    “What is the first business of one who practices philosophy? To get rid of self-conceit. For it is impossible for anyone to begin to learn that which he thinks he already knows.” -Epictetus, Discourses, Book II, ch. 17 A couple of years back, I shared an article about learning based on this quote. I shared…

  • Trauma Upon Trauma – Reading about Lauren Book’s Experience with Stolen Images

    As you might imagine these sorts of activities are severely traumatizing, and Lauren’s response in the article I linked makes that clear. I also want to address the more subtle trauma here though. That trauma comes from those of you who will read this story and immediately respond “well she shouldn’t have been taking those photos”.

    I want to be very clear here. That statement is 100% blaming the victim. This is the same exact thing as saying a woman shouldn’t have walked alone at night, or had a drink, or a child shouldn’t have been so friendly with strangers, etc. Lauren didn’t do anything wrong. What she and her husband do inside of their marriage is none of our business, no laws were broken, nothing untoward was going on. She was just a wife living her life and she was hacked. The person who stole these photos was the one breaking the law. The people sharing and selling those photos were breaking the law. Save your moral outrage for them and the people requesting to have these photos used to create fake rape videos because she was a rape victim.

    Anyone who can read the entire story and walk away indignant more at her for having taken photos that were perfectly legal and a personal choice instead of the people who have violated her are simply violating her again.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Your post must include a link to this post.

How does this work?
Write a response on your own website and include a link to this post. Then submit your response’s URL here. Your response may appear here after moderation. To update or remove it, edit or delete your original post and submit the same URL again. Learn more about Webmentions.