Link – I don’t have a ‘pre-trauma’ identity. So I’m developing my identity.
A lot of trauma survivors, talk about how they miss who they used to be. They miss their ‘pre-trauma’ self/identity.
For many of us, however, who were severely abused from a very young age, we don’t have a ‘pre-trauma’ identity. This is something people will not fully comprehend, unless they have personally endured this.
Part of my healing process, is building my identity. A healthy identity. My real identity. The real me.
This is real. I hear from child abuse survivors often about how they just want to become who they were before the abuse, and it makes no sense. They were small children before the abuse, you can’t go back to being a small child as an adult. You have to, instead, figure out who you are, and who you want to be, as an adult.
Nothing in therapy helped me heal more than hearing someone tell me that I was free to be who I wanted to be as an adult. It literally changed the path of my life from that day forward. Instead of constantly looking back and trying to figure out who I was without the abuse, I simply looked ahead to figure out who I was now, having survived the abuse.
It may not seem like much, but for me, it was everything.
I don’t have a ‘pre-trauma’ identity. So I’m developing my identity.
RT @SurvivorNetwork: Link – I don’t have a ‘pre-trauma’ identity. So I’m developing my identity.: A lot of trauma survivors, talk .. https:…
RT @SurvivorNetwork: Link – I don’t have a ‘pre-trauma’ identity. So I’m developing my identity.: A lot of trauma survivors, talk .. https:…
So true…
I hear you… I ‘went back’… It made naive, vulnerable and I got further abused by being taken advantage of…
I am happy that my memories came back, but wish I didn’t need to know… I was n unborn when I remember my mother screaming and hitting me in the womb. I believe I remembered a saline abortion not working… Just after Roe v Wade passed…
I don’t know how to be ME. Thankfully, my new husband has helped me know that person over the last 5 years… He had to be my daddy and my husband… Thank GOD for waking me up in time to get away from my abusive ex and family…
????
We often have to cut ties and separate from abusive families of origin, just to be able to think straight and live in reality, instead of with the illusion of normalcy they attempted to create.
Going through this right now.
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Mariam Liberty
Very interesting
Yes
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Very true! Well said!
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I remember realising this too during my journey of recovery. People kept saying I am who I am because of the abuse and I hated them saying that!! I so AM NOT! I am ME and your explanation here makes perfect sense 🙂
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RT @SurvivorNetwork: Link – I don’t have a ‘pre-trauma’ identity. So I’m developing my identity.: A lot of trauma survivors, talk .. https:…
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