Link – Making Room for Gray

“Now consider our abuse occurring during this childhood developmental stage, before our little brains have opportunity to grow, develop and experience different perspectives. We are stuck and frozen in a time continuum with one-or-the-other or black and white thinking. Our world partly becomes defined by the perceptions we held during the abusive experience. These perceptions, fueled by pain, guilt and shame, follow us into adulthood. As male survivors, no room for gray thinking often leads to lives devoid of supportive male relationships.”

I’ve seen it myself many times with survivors, and I’ve even seen it in myself. There is no gray, people are either good to me, or bad to me. They either love me, or are out to hurt me.

The truth, however, is never that simple. People are complicated. Some should be avoided, but most come with a mix of fun, supportive, occasions, and other occasions that involve personal drama. That is life.

Not all men are out to abuse me. Being a man now, how could I logically believe that? That would imply that I am too. That’s silly.

Go read the challenge to this black and white thinking put forward in the article. It may help you get out of that rut!

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