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When people say that to us- about not wanting to break up their families by speaking the truth, we say the same thing every time- “Oh honey, your family is already broken.”
If sexual abuse is happening within your family, if the cycle of abuse and trauma is playing out on a loop from hell in your family- well, your family is fundamentally broken to begin with.  It’s like saying I don’t want to inflict chemo on myself because it’s toxic and my body is a temple… Honey, you have CANCER.  Pick your poison.

It’s only natural to not want to upset people, or burden them with our problems, but to try and exist in a family unit where sexual abuse has taken place without being able to acknowledge your truth is going to be much, much worse. Instead of taking care of our own healing, we wind up tip-toeing around other people and maybe even continuing to deal with our abuser in ways that are not of our choosing.

That’s not healthy.

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