Link – Reasons Family Members Side with Sexual Abusers
I find this to be true outside of families as well. Whether you want to talk about a friend, celebrity, coach, or member of your local church, it hurts to come to terms with the fact that child abuse had been going on right under your nose.
“Many family members find it far more comfortable to stick with the status quo. They prefer to maintain alliances with abusers because this allows them to turn away from uncomfortable truths and the difficult feelings they stir up. To face the truth, family members must cast off their defenses, upsetting their equilibrium and putting themselves on uncertain ground, forced to adjust to a different landscape that may be far more healthy and real, but exists in frighteningly uncharted territory with fewer places to hide.
Family members and survivors alike need to know that the pain and discomfort that comes from facing abuse is worth the very real rewards.”
This same explanation can be used to explain why some people simply don’t want to pay attention to news stories about abuse, or are offended when people talk about “such a sad topic”. They don’t want it to be something they have to deal with, they want to go on about their lives thinking it doesn’t affect them.
But it does. It so obviously does affect people they know and love, and this attitude is only hurting those same people. They just aren’t likely to mention it more than once.
Go read the whole thing, and if you’re a survivor, maybe understand that what is happening isn’t about you, it’s about them, and if you’re not a survivor, maybe think about how you would act in a similar situation, and be better.