Speaking openly about how I was abused made me feel less alone
Finally, some information that might help us get the benefits of human touch, without increasing risks too much. Be careful out there.
‘Mental health and addiction is not a dirty secret,’ says Helen
Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.
Having people in my life who I can talk to has been a massive support in my healing. Being able to tell my story with my voice has been a huge blessing for me.
I’m also acutely aware of the downside when it goes wrong, however. I know too many survivors who’ve been further damaged when trying to share their story as opposed to getting the support they were desperately seeking. Please, be careful with your story and yourself.
As I mentioned, in the workplace this is true. Very few people are going to feel safe talking about their own struggles if the leaders in the company never open up about their own at some level. But, it’s also true in our relationships as well.
How many of us wish the people in our lives, spouses, kids, siblings, friends and loved ones, would feel comfortable talking to us about their struggles, yet we never share our own? How would they know that you are a safe person to talk to if you appear to never have any struggles?
Let me give you a prime example from my own life. As many of you know, I worked from home before the pandemic started, and continued to do so all the way through 2020. It had very little impact beyond some lack of socializing, on my life, and so when I compared that to what many others were going through in 2020, I didn’t really want to complain about the things I was struggling with. Most people I did talk to, didn’t really talk about their own struggles either. Finally, however, when I wrote a post about not being OK right now, and shared it across my social media profiles, including LinkedIn, I got notes and messages from a ton of people, some who I haven’t even been in touch with in awhile, telling me about their struggles as well.
I attribute that to two things. One, I know a lot of amazing people who see someone struggling and immediately set out to make sure I knew I wasn’t alone, and two, by sharing my own difficulties, I also provided them a safe place to share their own struggles.
Isn’t that what it’s really all about?
So, what are you struggling with that you have been hiding? What good is hiding doing for you?
There’s no language in this belief system for “some other person decided to hurt you for no reason at all and it had nothing to do with you”. There can’t be any language for that, because the entire system is self-centered.
The world isn’t. So please stop telling people who have suffered real harm that it’s all just lessons to learn, that simply excuses away harmful behavior, provides overly simple “fixes” for mental health issues, and places the blame for it square on the victim. That’s no way to support anyone.
I’ve seen this too, and I’ve struggled with it at times. “I know at least in my situation, I’m terrified that one day I may have a serious setback again that requires hospitalization. What does that say to all of the people that have read my book or followed me on Twitter as I declare,…
I wish this wasn’t true, but I’m afraid my wishing it isn’t going to change the reality: “We’re not allowed in the elementary schools, and one of the reasons for that is the topic is related to sex,” McGrath continued. “However, the reality of the situation is average age of entry into the sex trade…
For many, there is no possibility of the regular trip to the therapist office that we often imagine mental health care to be. We need more of these kinds of resources if we are going to make a dent in the large percentage of people who never get any treatment, and the more we can move to these types of tools, hopefully the more availability there is for more elaborate resources for those who need that as well.
