Links I’m Sharing (weekly) – July 12, 2020
Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.
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Shared Links (weekly) Feb. 23, 2025
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Sharing – I wrote a memoir about abuse. That doesn’t mean you’re entitled to every detail
Every survivor has the freedom to choose how, when, and in what detail, they want to share their story. You can ask for more, but you also have to respect the survivor’s choice to not answer. They don’t owe you that. The only time it’s really even appropriate to press for details if you’re a criminal prosecutor trying to help the survivor bring the abuser to justice.
Outside of that very specific situation? No, we don’t owe you anything. You can support a survivor without knowing all the details. In fact, respecting their boundaries around what they decide to share, is one great way to support them in their healing. They’ve already had too many people not respect their boundaries.
Link – Why sometimes it’s OK not to talk openly about mental illness
This is something I agree with But just because I talk publicly about my mental health, it doesn’t mean that you have to. In fact, I think it’s very important that you keep your illness within a circle of trust until you feel comfortable talking about it on the internet, or anywhere else, for that…
Sharing – The Best Way to Reduce Anxiety Is to Make Your Brain Feel Safe
I think back to my childhood and the sexual and physical violence I was subjected to. I struggle with anxiety because my brain is always going back to that time – a time when I was not safe! The things my brain learned then weren’t a failure of mental health; they were survival instincts. They were healthy reactions to an unsafe environment. My current challenge is unlearning them now that I am no longer in that unsafe environment. Asking me to do that while I was unsafe would have been dumb. The anxiety was trying to keep me alive.
Sharing – How to Draw On Your Psychological Resources
None of these things is going to “fix” the stress and anxiety we are all feeling, but they can build up the resources we need to face it and go forward. Developing these skills is an important part of dealing with difficulties, and for survivors, they are also an important part of healing. The more strength you have in these areas, the better prepared you are to heal and move forward.
We often talk about the cup analogy, not being able to pour from an empty cup, but this article gives you really concrete ways to make sure your cup has something in it.
Sharing – How to Overcome the Fear of Making Friends as an Adult
It is important to have friends and social connections, we already know this: Research shows that new friendships start to decline in our 20s. Studies have also shown that friendships are a big factor in mental and physical health, as well as longevity. In other words, loneliness kills — even in a relationship. So, if…
