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Sharing – When You Have a Lifelong Struggle With PTSD and Depression
ByMikeM March 2, 2022March 2, 2022 Reading Time: 2 minutes

It can be a struggle when so many of our friends and even professionals want to help us overcome abuse to “get back to” ourselves when there is no previous version of ourselves to use as a target. I don’t think this should be the goal anyway. The goal for any child abuse victim should not be to go back to being a younger version of themselves before the abuse, the goal should be to build a life after abuse. I didn’t find much healing in trying to remember my early childhood, but I found a ton of healing in having someone help me design the life I wanted to have as an adult and helping me feel worthy and capable of having that.

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Sharing – My Husband Took His Life After Hiding Years of Sexual Abuse
ByMikeM February 28, 2022February 27, 2022 Reading Time: 2 minutes

Lenore’s story is sad and tragic, but her message is important. We lose so many survivors, men, and women, who just never find a way to share their pain and look for help. People who live without hope because they feel shame about something that was never their fault. I encourage you to read what she has to say about her hope in sharing her husband’s story. I also encourage you to consider how many survivors we lose in the same way who we don’t even know were abused as children because they never felt safe enough to tell anyone. I guarantee there are many more people like that than we would like to think about.

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Sharing – Having your pain invalidated is associated with increased shame and, in turn, an increased risk of depression
ByMikeM February 25, 2022February 24, 2022 Reading Time: 1 minute

There’s more at the link, but again I’m going to ask, given the positive impacts of validating someone’s pain and emotions, and the negative impacts of invalidating those same things, why would we do anything else?

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Sharing – Psychological and Physiological Power of Validation
ByMikeM February 23, 2022February 23, 2022 Reading Time: 1 minute

Note what it says, words like listening and acceptance. Note also what it doesn’t say, like anything about fixing things or changing their feelings, etc.

I talk often on here about simply being there. Sitting with someone who is struggling. Validation is all about that, and as you can read further, validating someone is maybe one of the best things you can do to keep open lines of communication, help them feel valued, and not dismiss their emotions.

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Links

Sharing – America’s Lack of Bereavement Leave Is Causing a Grief Crisis
ByMikeM February 21, 2022February 21, 2022 Reading Time: 3 minutes

So people who are grieving do it privately. They barely function through the workday and then go home and grieve by themselves. They are left to process grief without any community and the support that provides. They are left to feel like there is something wrong with them because they still miss their loved ones as if that is somehow not normal.

It is normal, we don’t simply forget the people we lose or the tragedies we experience and then move on. It sticks with you. You feel it again on birthdays and holidays, in places where you are reminded of them when you want to pick up the phone and tell them some exciting news. That doesn’t just go away after a set amount of time.

We should stop pretending that it should and start making sure everyone has some space to grieve, no matter how long it’s been.

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Recommendations

New To Me – Teen Suicide Prevention Series
ByMikeM February 19, 2022February 19, 2022 Reading Time: 1 minute

I say new to me only because I hadn’t seen it until yesterday. It’s an animated series aimed at telling the stories of teens dealing with a variety of issues called My Life is Worth Living.

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