• Sharing – Healthy Boundaries for Adult Children of Toxic Parents

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    There is some good advice in the article about how to create, and maintain, healthy boundaries with a variety of toxic parent “types”, but I will always fall back on one fact of life as a survivor of childhood abuse, we came out of childhood with no idea of what a boundary is, let alone why we would create one. We were never given the opportunity to learn or practice this skill.

    It’s OK if it takes us a minute to figure it out before we get it right.

  • We Teach Children all the Wrong Things

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

    I came across this video of Emma Jean Taylor’s TedTalk about child abuse the other day and wanted to share it with you. First because, as the title of the video says, we teach kids to be wary of strangers all the time but we don’t teach them to also be wary of people they know, despite the fact that up to 90% of sexual abuse victims know the abuser.

    I fell into that category. I remember learning all about windowless vans and strangers with candy. No one ever told me that someone within my own family could also be a sexual abuser.

  • Sharing – Why Mourning for the Self Is a Necessary Part of Healing

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    It’s the step where you can truly understand at the deepest level that what happened was not your fault. Many a survivor will say that without ever really feeling it, and you can tell because they will say that and immediately begin talking about how weak or needy they were as a child. As if that explains why they were abused, when in fact the only explanation necessary is that someone decided to abuse them.

  • Sharing – Lack of Access to Mental Health Treatment Reduces Lifetime Income

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Look, we know that untreated mental health issues impact people’s lives in many ways. Would the lack of treatment at 20 for bipolar make a huge difference in lifetime income? Of course, it would impact the ability to even finish college successfully and that would then continue to impact things significantly. Would the need to take leaves of absence or go to work every day with depression and no access to help for that cause you to be less successful? Again, statistically, I think that would be obvious that it happens more times than not.

  • Why do we get Stressed About Replying Quickly?

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    My first thought, obviously, was about the workplace and the culture we have created there that rewards being “always-on” but I think so much of this pressure permeates beyond work. As technology has become commonplace we all live with this pressure and this expectation. Think about it, how many times in a given week are you apologizing to friends and family because you couldn’t get back to them right away?

    I do it all the time.

    Heck, I’ve gotten text messages while having lunch or dinner with a friend, catching up with someone I haven’t gotten to see much for the last couple of years, and then apologized for doing that and being unavailable. Why? That makes no sense but we live in a culture where being connected to technology all the time also means that we should be responsive all the time. Or at least we feel like we should. Frankly, that’s a lot of pressure.