No, not really, but what we should do is be sure to maintain healthy boundaries. The article below is about Compassion Fatigue. It’s real. I’ve known people who’ve reached that point, and I’ve watched people online reach that point, where they write and share about every new abuse case they see until they just disappear online because they have become overwhelmed.
Over the years of having this website, I’ve had many people suggest that my abusive childhood made me more compassionate and a kinder human being. Or, maybe it gave me a better sense of humor or made me more spiritual.
Or maybe it didn’t. No version of me wasn’t abused. If there had been a version of me that wasn’t abused, he could be more compassionate. He could be a complete narcissist. He could be funnier or kinder. He could be a selfish ass.
No one knows. That version of me is Schrodinger’s cat. It’s all the possibilities because the box can never be opened to see what’s inside.
Child abuse can be all about shame and guilt. Because the entire world wants to believe that things are fair when we grow up, trying to square that belief with what happened to us as children naturally leads us to believe it’s our fault.
You can’t have self-compassion and also believe the abuse you suffered was your fault. We have to get past this idea that the world is fair and we get what we deserve. It’s simply not true. We have to be willing to have the same compassion for ourselves that we would have for another crime victim.
Everyone deserves to have some compassion for others and learn how to have compassion for themselves.
Beth gives some concrete examples and, more than that, reminds us all to remember how good it felt when someone acted in a small, compassionate way for us too. It’s important to remember those moments and how much of an impact they can have.
Someone is having a mental breakdown in public. What is the compassionate way to respond?
Encouraging Messages to Read If You’re Struggling With Depression Right Now
Stamping out the stigma: throwaway saying and why they’re so damaging to mental health
It’s OK to Have Complicated Feelings About an Abusive Parent Dying
On the heels of more tragedy over the holiday weekend in the US, this is such a great reminder.
“One of the messages we emphasize most at Active Minds is that you don’t have to be an expert to help. There are ways to support those around you that are coping with the struggles from either directly experiencing the ills of this world or from the pain caused by seeing others experience them. And, those around you don’t have to be experts to help you, either. Through empathetic and compassionate conversations, partnered with purposeful and tangible actions, we can be part of the solution to our broken world for our families, our communities, and – therefore – our nation. We can’t fix all the problems in this world for everyone, but we can control how we show up for those around us with our voices, our words, and our actions.”
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