When men display anger, anxiety, and irritation, we tend not to think of it as depression, but it very well can be.
This study taught me something, though. That kind of depression, which we refer to as “masculine,” is not something that only men can display, so we ought to consider how many people across the gender spectrum may be suffering from depression and not recognizing it.
For an individual, it may help, and it may not. It’s important to note that a lower incidence of mental health issues does not mean no mental health incidents. You can exercise, drink two cups of coffee, and get a good night’s sleep every day, and while that is good for you and has benefits, there’s no guarantee that you will not be impacted by mental health issues.
It took me a long time to be comfortable with what happened. Most of that was internal, the embarrassment of being the guy who had public mental health issues and spent a long time in therapy, and trying to build a new life. Part of it was also watching people be uncomfortable in my presence. I didn’t have a choice about who knew about it, and I learned to embrace it as part of my story. That didn’t happen immediately.
Can you imagine the double blow it must be to have your spouse struggling with addiction or severe mental illness, and know that your friends are likely avoiding you as well? Is there stigma directed at you for being married to someone with mental health issues?
Why would a kid growing up in poverty, without enough food, and without the social support to succeed in school, feel any different about themselves as they enter adulthood? There’s a connection there; good mental health is hard to find when the entire world tells you you’re less-than.
Maybe we should stop viewing anyone as less-than and fight to make sure no kids go without.
We talk about loneliness as a mental health issue often. We complain about the lack of third spaces in society. We complain about how people don’t reach out anymore. What we likely don’t talk enough about is how volunteering to help other people is an antidote to all of that.
