The central question of the article below is a good one: Why Do victims of nonsexual violent crimes usually involve authorities while most rape survivors remain silent? Most of the article is about adult sexual assault, but she points out that children who are sexually abused face this same question for similar reasons. Those reasons…
Even just the headline made me think of those days when I was in my 20s, dealing with the trauma and shame of my childhood and the major depression that I was not getting proper treatment for. I didn’t take care of myself. I didn’t even meet the basic needs of sleep, food, etc., because, in my mind, I wasn’t worth it. I didn’t deserve to live a healthy, content life. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand what self-care was or why it was necessary; I lacked a belief that I deserved it.
How many survivors have been told to stop talking about their abuse, to forgive their abuser, to coexist with their abuser, all in the name of family unity? I know too many who have found themselves sacrificed on the altar of this myth. They’ve been silenced, ignored, and suffered further trauma in the name of keeping the family peace so that their abuser can exist comfortably in the family.
This article makes clear that sibling sexual abuse is happening to kids all around us. It has been happening throughout history. We also know a lot about it if people are willing to listen. The article is long but well worth it to understand what the risks are, what to do when you find out about it, how to prevent it, and most importantly, understand that if you were sexually abused by a sibling, you are not alone.
Haven’t we been talking over and over again about the lack of human connection and the impacts on our mental health? Maybe if we spent a little more time complimenting each other when a job is well done, or on a new look, or a trait that we admire, we’d have more human connection in our days.
The article below provides many more details, but similar to what I wrote earlier this week about taking a mental health day, boundaries are personal. How I decide to interact with my family may look very different from how other survivors do it. My boundaries have changed over the years. What they look like now is different from what they were when I was struggling more with my mental health as a younger man. I still have boundaries. I define them for myself every day.
You should, too. You can decide where your boundaries are and when they can be adjusted. You decide what is safe for you. You decide who is harmful to you.
