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Sharing – How to Respond When Mental Health Advice Feels Like Judgment

posted in: Links 4 |
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Look, I get it, you tried something and it helped you, or you’ve seen it help someone else. Clearly, you are excited about the possibility of helping others, but you’re forgetting something. You’re forgetting that the person you are sharing this advice with, isn’t you.

When you come walking into a conversation with friends, or especially into online communities with statements like the ones above, the message you are actually sending is “Gee, fixing this is easy, you’re just doing it wrong”.

Imagine using those actual words towards someone you barely know. You wouldn’t, would you? At least if you’re a decent human being, you wouldn’t. But you are totally willing to take your beliefs, your own experience, and completely railroad another person’s current reality with it, you are doing something awfully similar. In a moment of emotional vulnerability, you have come in, guns blazing, with the suggestion that all of this pain they are in, and all of this struggling they are going through, should have been easy to avoid.… Read More

Sharing – I’m Open About My Depression—But Not Completely

posted in: Links 0 |
Reading Time: 2 minutes

As I have written before, being an advocate online for me means writing, sharing information and insights, interacting with other survivors, etc. but sometimes I just can’t. Not because I’ve lost interest or don’t want to do it, but because I’m just tired of the pushback. I’m tired of having stories about male victims challenged or dismissed, tired of people in the mental health space telling me that everyone should just do what worked for them, tired of dealing with other people’s definitions of what healing looks like, or how long it should take, and on and on.

It’s all stigma, it’s all the stigma that I want to fight against, but some days it’s just exhausting. So I’d rather not talk about it.… Read More

Shared Links (weekly) Feb. 14, 2021

posted in: Weekly Links 0 |
Reading Time: 1 minute

The Many Impacts of Self-Stigma

New Study Explores How Trauma-Focused Psychotherapy Works

Emergency Rooms See Significant Rise in Mental Health Visits During Pandemic

The Shame No One Talks About In Sexual Abuse

KTLA reporter Gene Kang shares experience overcoming child abuse, domestic violence

How I overcame my dad abusing me and loaning me out for sex at a ‘paedophile brothel’

Subtle Childhood Trauma Symptoms You’re Ignoring… Read More

Shared Links (weekly) Jan, 31 2021

posted in: Weekly Links 0 |
Reading Time: 1 minute

Unseen scars of childhood trauma

Two thirds of child sexual abuse survivors didn’t tell anyone about abuse at the time

Why we should never use childhood trauma to excuse male violence

– Can we also talk about how offensive these connections are to male survivors?

Is Stigma Derailing Your Mental Health Goals?

9 Books to Make 2021 a Happier, Healthier Year
Read More

Sharing – Population vs Individual Prediction of Poor Health From Results of Adverse Childhood Experiences Screening

posted in: Links 0 |
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Now, here comes a study, linked below, that has done the real scientific research and found:

“ACE scores can forecast mean group differences in later health problems; however, ACE scores have poor accuracy in identifying individuals at high risk for future health problems.”

Yes, there are statistics that show that there’s an impact at the societal level from childhood trauma. We should be addressing those issues as a society, things like child poverty, parents in the prison system, abuse, neglect, etc. because we know that as we lessen those impacts on kids, and make resources available for the kids who’s trauma we can’t prevent, we can impact the overall increases in depression, addiction, crime rates, etc. that are a direct result of childhood trauma. But, at an individual level, these things aren’t fate. How one person navigates trauma and is impacted by it, is not going to come down to just the number of traumas they dealt with as a child. When we identify one person with 4 or more ACEs according to the survey, all that really tells us is that it’s basically 50-50 whether or not they are depressed, or there’s a close to 30% chance they’ve used illicit drugs, but a 70% chance they haven’t. One person is not going to neatly fit every category and shouldn’t be treated as if they do. … Read More

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