My wife yesterday decided to be generous and get me a gift certificate for a massage, in the hopes that maybe trying something like that would help me with the headaches I have to deal with from time to time. Of course, given the issues I sometimes have with being touched by males, as a result of having been molested by a male, she wanted to make sure that this place would allow her, or me, to specify that the therapist be a female. She wrote them an email asking them about that, assuming it would be a somewhat odd request. Much to her surprise, their response was that, unfortunately, this particular issue and the special requests for therapists of one sex or the other because of sexual abuse, or rape, was quite common and they were quite used to that.

Somehow that seems profoundly sad to me…

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  1. No I haven’t done it yet, may be a few weeks with the weather being the way it’s been lately. I don’t really want to get out and do anything when it’s this cold. 🙂

  2. It is unfortunate in that those who HAVE NOT been abused are becoming a minority to those of us who have been abused.

    I mentioned my abuse once in passing on my other online journal and a fellow blogger in a comment exclaimed in exasperation the very same thought. Which was:

    “Is there no one who has not been abused anymore?”

    That is sad – ultimately and explicably.

    Did you get the massage yet, btw? I am curious if it helped.

  3. Mike,

    I hope that you do get to enjoy the massage. A few years ago for my birthday, I gave myself a massage. I went to a woman who was recommended by a trusted friend. When, just before she began, I told her that I am survivor, she thanked me for telling her, told me that she would be carefull (and that I should let her know if any touching triggored me) and that she too is a survivor (echoing Me’s statement above). It was a wonderful, peaceful and healing experience.

    I hope that you are able to experience something just as nice when you get your massage.


  4. I am a massage therapist and I believe I am working on a 9 year old girl that has been or may currently be sexually abused. She has suffered severe headache since the age of five and so far the only therapy, according to her mother, that has been sucessful in reducing the frequency and intensity of the headaches. Can anyone give me any insight or a personal experience to help me with a decission to discuss the matter with her mother?

  5. Brian,

    First off let me just that as far as I know there may be dozens of other reasons for migraines, even at that young of an age. I wouldn’t assume that unless you have some other evidence that she is or was being abused. I would check out the resource page and look around those links for some of the other evidene. Secondly, I don’t know what the legal status of massage therapists is in regard to mandatory reporting of suspected child abuse, but you may want to check that out as well.

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