The simple answer, is no one person can do everything for us.
We like to think that isn’t true, but it is. As a husband who’s been watching his wife grieve the loss of her parents these last few months, it’s hard for me to admit that I can’t do everything to support her. That is my job, isn’t it?
But, I can’t.
It hurts to admit it, but it’s true. I am not capable of being everything to her that she needs. I can do my best. I can try as much as I can, and I can love her as good as I have ever loved anyone.
She still needs more.
She needs her friends. She needs their love. She needs their time. She needs to be their friend, a chance to be more than the woman grieving her parents. She recently spent some time with some of those friends in Oregon. Being herself again, away from everything that is here. I am eternally grateful to them for that.
And, frankly, I got a needed break.
It hurts to say that too. It sounds so selfish, so uncaring. But it’s true. I needed a chance to be more than the guy who’s wife lost her parents. To just be me again. Not because supporting her was so difficult and exhausting. It’s not, she’s a strong, strong woman.
But because I am more than that. Supporting her through this time, is the most important thing I want to do.
It’s also not everything I am. It can’t be.
And that’s OK.
That’s why we are more than just the two of us. Because we need more, and we need to be more.
I can’t give her all the support and things she needs to grieve. I can give her what I have to give.
The rest, will need to come from somewhere else. Thankfully, she has that. There are many heroes in our lives.