Does a Grooming Ban Help or Hurt?

the idea comes from the UK, where groups want to be able to file what amounts to restraining orders preventing anyone who appears to be grooming a child from being around that child or any other before a crime has been committed. 

That all sounds well and good, and I’m all for finding ways to prevent abuse before it happens but I wonder about the chilling effect this will have on anyone, but especially men, who would simply avoid doing any volunteer work with children or interacting with children at all. I mean isn’t it bad enough that the article linked above even assumes we are talking about men being abusers? 

I can’t help but wonder what sort of effect having no adults to coach soccer teams, no male teachers, etc. will have on kids. Giving the public this tool to, basically convict an adult of child abuse without a crime having been committed, because of a suspicion of “grooming”, could be doing more harm than good if it’s not closely monitored. 

However, given our level of paranoia about even leaving pre-teenage children alone for 5 minutes, I can’t see this turning out well. 

How about, instead of taking paranoid steps to protect “vulnerable” children, we take more steps to not raise vulnerable children in the first place? 

 

Similar Posts

  • Link – The Mysterious Connection Between Smell and Our Past

    “It has been well-documented (link is external) that autobiographical memories associated with smell are frequently more intense and emotionally tinged than memories associated with other sensory cues. This is due to the uniquely direct access smells have to the olfactory cortex, and the proximity of this area of the brain to the limbic system and the…

  • Sharing – Queer survivors of sexual abuse are frequently blamed for their own victimization

    I’ve talked about this before. As a male survivor, I have spent years on this site dealing with people that simply assumed I was gay, for no other reason than the fact that I was abused by a male perpetrator. I’ve known plenty of other men who’ve been shunned because of a similar assumption, or the much worse assumption that survivors, especially male survivors or gay men, are likely to turn around and also sexually abuse others.

    None of this is accurate. Yes, the abuse can leave you feeling unsafe and uncomfortable in your own body and with your own sexuality. That is a side effect of being raped sometimes. That is not something anyone should be ashamed to talk about and no matter where they land on the spectrum of gender and sexual preference they deserve the respect and privacy to figure that out themselves. None of us asked your opinion, and none of us want to hear about your own illusions of how sexuality works after being sexually abused at a young age.

    The more mature attitude is to recognize that healing from sexual abuse is a process that looks different for everyone, whether they are gay, straight, bisexual, non-binary and any other thing you want to consider. We all deserve a better response than to be accused of bringing it upon ourselves.

  • BBC TV Documentary: Neil Morrissey – Care Home Kid Pt1 Online, Pt 2 to follow

    Neil Morrissey is a successful English TV and theatre actor firstly known for the sitcom Men Behaving Badly in the 1990s which transferred across two British network TV channels from Independent television (ITV) to the BBC, and more recently the BBC School drama series Waterloo Road and the voice of children’s character Bob The Builder….

  • Links I’m Sharing (weekly)

    Breaking the cycle of adverse childhood experiences and the culture of silence Is the Answer to All Our Stress and Illness More Kindness? – Maybe not all, but it wouldn’t hurt us. What Helps When You’re Suicidal – From Those Who Have Been There For kids who face trauma, good neighbors or teachers can save…

  • We Teach Children all the Wrong Things

    I came across this video of Emma Jean Taylor’s TedTalk about child abuse the other day and wanted to share it with you. First because, as the title of the video says, we teach kids to be wary of strangers all the time but we don’t teach them to also be wary of people they know, despite the fact that up to 90% of sexual abuse victims know the abuser.

    I fell into that category. I remember learning all about windowless vans and strangers with candy. No one ever told me that someone within my own family could also be a sexual abuser.

9 Comments

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

To respond on your own website, enter the URL of your response which should contain a link to this post's permalink URL. Your response will then appear (possibly after moderation) on this page. Want to update or remove your response? Update or delete your post and re-enter your post's URL again. (Find out more about Webmentions.)