Link – 5 Questions to Ask the Partners of Child Abuse Survivors

Orly’s first step to overcoming this was actually talking to someone about it. I cannot emphasize this enough. The shame we carry from childhood is all-consuming to us. It’s the secret we expend massive amounts of energy trying to hide and obsessing over. The things we feel shame about are the things that impact our day-to-day lives in adulthood.

And, for the most part, the shame we feel isn’t true. It’s not based in reality. Orly isn’t “not smart” any more than I am, and I do not deserve punishment any more than you. These are simply the stories we took away from our childhood.

This is also why that first reaction is so important. When we finally work up the courage to share our secrets, our shames, it’s painful to have them mocked or disbelieved.