I thought the reasons laid out in this article were interesting, not exhaustive by any means but an interesting way of looking at what happens in families when abuse is present. I do feel like all of them boiled down to this:
At the time I was devastated by her response and I took it very personally. But over the years I realized that her inaction had nothing to do with me. I was asking something of her that she just didn’t have to give.
This is something I see within families, and also with friends. Many a survivor has disclosed to a good friend, or family member about their abuse, or about their struggles in adulthood and not gotten a very good response, to say the least. It’s important to be aware that often the response is about them and what they have to give, not about us at all.
That is also why I encourage anyone looking to disclose to a friend to be prepared for any and all possible responses, and to know that whatever the response, it isn’t about the survivor, it’s about whatever the other person may be dealing with as well.