Asking for Help Can Create Connection – So Does the Thank You

Seth Godin had an important reminder for us today:

Hustle culture has discovered that ‘asking for a favor’ often triggers a positive response. This effort on the part of the other person happens because the favor-giver is seeking connection. When the recipient minimizes the favor or fails to say thank you, they create distance, not connection.

We’ve talked a lot about the importance of connection when it comes to mental health. Being connected to others is a great tool in suicide prevention, and we see study after study reporting on the negative effects of loneliness. One great way to create a connection among your friends is to ask for help when you need it. People, generally, like to help. The little bit of vulnerability it takes to ask for help can create a huge improvement in the connection between two people.

Unless, of course, you don’t bother to acknowledge the help with a thank you. That undoes all the connection that was created by helping in the first place, and as Seth also points out, makes it less likely that others will help you in the future, because you’re only looking for help, not for connection, when what we want is more connection.

So, say thank you.