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Sharing – How my Facebook post about suicide uncovered so much hidden male pain and suffering
I have managed to be somewhat successful by society’s standard. I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. To assume that must mean I wasn’t that hurt by it, is to tell me that you know nothing of my life, or the lives of thousands of other men like me. Is it any wonder so many don’t come forward and talk about it?
But, as the article below points out, there are too many men in pain, with nowhere to go, for us to not talk about it. They deserve better.
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Sharing – How to Heal Childhood Trauma Without Forgiving the Person Who Caused It
If you choose to forgive, know that it is your choice, including what forgiveness means to you. I’ve talked to many survivors who have made that choice, and how they define forgiveness isn’t always the same Know, however, that it absolutely does not mean you have to now be silent and never bring it up again, and know that people who desire your silence, are not your allies.
I will agree with Roseanna about that, it’s not about forgiveness, it’s about healing.
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Sharing – ‘They Aren’t Who You Think They Are’
If nothing else, I hope you’ll go read the article for two reasons. One, to recognize how difficult it can be to come forward, and have leaders dismiss your claims, so that you know how not to run any organizations that you and your kids are involved with, and two, to recognize how certain cultural values create a space for abusers. Churches rely on charismatic leaders, but without proper safeguards and oversight, you’ll attract some very charismatic evildoers too. Also, understand that environments with such a strong focus on sexual purity, create a culture where kids are desperate to not do the “worst thing” and are susceptible to this kind of grooming, not to mention a lot of shame around a very natural subject. That shame only increases the secrecy around sex, and again creates a place where secrets can thrive. DO NOT BE A PLACE WHERE SECRETS THRIVE!
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Sharing – New children’s book uses sea creatures to teach kids ages 4 to 8 how recognize and talk about abuse
No, it isn’t fair that we have to have books to teach children how to protect themselves, but it’s reality. I don’t want small children to have to learn about the possibility of being abused, but leaving them uneducated and more vulnerable is not an option.
Oh, the other thing I appreciate about this book? It is focused on the danger from people the child already knows. Our “stranger danger” approach to child abuse has been terribly lacking for decades. I’m glad to see someone taking that on.
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BBC Football Story
Following the publication of the report into historical child sexual abuse and exploitation in English football, the BBC has a three part documentary.
