What’s the End Result?
Tomorrow I get to do something that, according to statistics, is one of the things adult survivors of sexual abuse dread the most. I have to have some dental work done.
I was terrified going to the initial appointment for an exam, I’m terrified of going back to have this work done, and I’m terrified of the number of appointments I will have to have to fully complete the work. Luckily, we found a dentist here in Corvallis who specializes in sedation dentistry, so I will actually be sedated long before I step foot in the office tomorrow, but even with that added bonus, just the thought of being in a dentist chair makes me feel queasy.
The only thing that is getting me through this, and the thing I’m counting on to get me through this whole process is the knowledge that the end result will be worth it. I’m looking forward to getting these things fixed and moving forward.
I think healing from abuse is a similar reality. Some of the steps toward healing can be scary, and many of them won’t be all that pleasant. Facing what happened, and facing the self-destructive behaviors we’ve developed over the years to help deal with it can be pretty terrifying. Healing isn’t always pretty. Sometimes, it can be a lot like taking a drill in the mouth, but we do it because the end result is worth it.
A life beyond “surviving” is out there, and it’s possible, but you have to show up to each appointment to get there. Keep your eyes on the end goal and keep moving forward!
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Same here
Are you saying that statistically there is evidence that adult survivors of sexual abuse dread dental work with more intensity than the general population or are you simply saying that there is much reluctance to start treatment for recognition, healing and recovery from CSA?
Id bet a combination of both (for me anyway). Would be a very good study tho
This is an interesting line of thought/study. I suspect the idea of intrusion, rape, violation, unwanted and ultimately perceived as pernicious probing may be the trigger of initial trauma (csa). Although to my ready awareness, I’ve never been sexually abused, I have endured neglect, witnessed domestic violence and regular street violence, mayhem (riots) and murder in my neighborhood (Harlem, 50’s 60’s) as a developing child. Social trust level is unusually thin. I dread dental care and nearly panicked under a treatment session including the use of nitrous oxide. Usually, unwilling to give up control to others without extensively developed history with reliable trust. Theoretically, would appreciate the benefit of any discovery with hypnosis but have never done so because of trust issues. Have “submitted” to and espouse the benefit of necessary (recommended) colonoscopy but have experienced two previous procedures as akin to legitimate rape. I am a serious practitioner of astrology for more than 40 years and have in the previous three years found interesting correlations in horoscopic maps to reliably identify victims of csa as well as likely perpetrators. This unusual perspective of awareness will probably be standard or best practices for diagnosis and treatment within the next 30 years or so. All human experiences are for the purpose of learning lessons and spiritual upgrade no matter how evil or horrendous. Rape and abuse betray lessons in the proper use of power, control, respect, sanctity and trust broadly speaking. These issues are readily identified per astrological dynamic markings at birth.
It has been my impression, from many years of reading on he subject, that among CSA survivors, there is an increased fear of any kind of medical treatment, including dentistry. Whether that fear is a result of a self esteem issue keeping survivors from seeking preventative care or simply finding the thought of someone sticking things in your mouth triggering, I do not know, but it seems to be pretty common.
How interesting. I would love to see the studies about this. I hate, hate, hate going to the dentist because I feel it’s so intrusive. Interesting.
For example see these results https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&hl=en&q=sexual+abuse+and+fear+of+dentists&spell=1&sa=X&ei=H_lWVM3jJe7vigLXz4CgAQ&ved=0CBsQvwUoAA
I have had very little dental work done in my 50 yrs of life. Because of only me putting objects in my mouth I hate the dentist
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Ive disclosed to my dentist and she’s excellent at talking me through every stage and whats going on to try to reassure me and checking in with me to make sure Im ok through out.
Thanks for this post, Mike. I didn’t know about the correlation between a fear of dental work and sexual abuse history. Do you know any more about that connection? I am a survivor (though I prefer the term thriver) too but don’t have this fear, so I’m curious where it comes from or how it is related. I know we statistically have more fears and phobias in general, but why this one specifically? In any case, I wish you peace and comfort through this process. I recommend breath work for calming anxieties. Happy to share more about that if you are interested. Best of luck, and thanks again for the post.
What’s the End Result? Child Abuse Survivor http://t.co/m1CA5XPNeN
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Interesting! I never knew there was a correlation! I just read a really interesting book for victims of abuse and their children. It’s called When Dad hurts Mom, Helping your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse, by Lundy Bancroft. I realize many of your readers are past this stage, but others may benefit. Really helpful info.
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ICYMI – What’s the End Result? http://t.co/TILd4IBzkq #childabuse #observations #personalnews
My therapist’s opinion on this was that much of it is about positioning. In the dental chair, you are completely exposed and vulnerable, with someone standing right over your head. Yeah, that’s pretty scary and triggering. Should I ever get to the point that I can trust a dentist enough, I should tell him or her that I’m a CSA survivor.
Another difficult medical experience was having my thyroid biopsied. Ugh. My therapist offered to call the doctor and explain my absolute terror but I declined. I just wasn’t ready to divulge that information to other people, even doctors.